[Well good news he's not really in the library for a long time today. He'll come back much later, a little bit drunk, and in some kind of dark mood, and he goes straight to his little table and pulls out his notebooks and a few books he's been keeping on a shelf.]
[Well, after the investigation, coming to find Molly wherever he is. Somewhere outside. Caleb is still moving stiffly, but he seems to be in a less grim mood. Sad, slightly hunched, but making eye contact again instead of staring blankly at things. He has a big fluffy scarf wrapped around his neck.]
Mollymauk.
Mollymauk.
[What. Why. At first when Molly does this, Caleb seems awkward, a little hunched and probably kind of hurt. He isn't sure if he did something wrong, if the way they ended things the other night upset him somehow. If he thinks someone is upset with him and he doesn't know why, he's just going to ignore them as well, so. . . that's what he does.
But as it continues on, he starts to maybe get the sense that this is an extra credit.]
. . . How long are you really going to do this? It is a little bit of an inconvenience?
But as it continues on, he starts to maybe get the sense that this is an extra credit.]
. . . How long are you really going to do this? It is a little bit of an inconvenience?
[Imagining him saying this all into his phone while Malik tries to sleep is making Caleb depressed. But he also suspects Molly needs to be drunk and away from everyone to have a conversation about these kinds of things, maybe.
He's a little drunk himself, but not enough not to return the message.]
I've seen gods intervene in the lives of our friends often enough that it should be easy not to doubt in them, but I do doubt.
I think it is the way I grew up. I was raised to believe in big things I was too small to be noticed by. The Dawnfather, the Empire, the king. I was also raised to believe my talents were meant to serve a greater purpose, a good purpose. And because I believed in those things and because I believed in that purpose I ruined my own life.
This is why the notion of fate troubles me. If what we are meant to be is a course we cannot turn away from or change then I am lost.
But I think we both have more say in it than that.
He's a little drunk himself, but not enough not to return the message.]
I've seen gods intervene in the lives of our friends often enough that it should be easy not to doubt in them, but I do doubt.
I think it is the way I grew up. I was raised to believe in big things I was too small to be noticed by. The Dawnfather, the Empire, the king. I was also raised to believe my talents were meant to serve a greater purpose, a good purpose. And because I believed in those things and because I believed in that purpose I ruined my own life.
This is why the notion of fate troubles me. If what we are meant to be is a course we cannot turn away from or change then I am lost.
But I think we both have more say in it than that.



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