[He huffs a small laugh, his smile thin. That's not a surprise to him at all. He's been through this now with everyone, and every time he expected rejection or even a negative reaction of some sort, he doesn't get it. It feels a little surreal to him. Like he could burn a person in the street and his friends would say 'it's okay, I support you.']
Well. They never did anything to deserve it. Never did anything but care for me and support me. And they aren't - I have killed many, many others, too, who never did anything to deserve death besides being branded traitors to the Empire.
[He doesn't say this exactly like he's trying to get Molly to realize how bad it is so much as he feels a little like he ought to stand up for these people who he killed; their lives weren't this meaningless.]
There were lies, and manipulations, and I was very young, as young as some people here. But everything I did I did by choice, too, so it is hard to understand how it changes nothing.
[He's been speaking to the group that chose to follow a creature of purely evil intent halfway across the fantasy arctic because it had a familiar face. They started with giving bandits a gold piece, with helping a traitor to the Dynasty. The feeling is so powerful that the whole, intact soul of Lucien, with only its fragile little pieces of Mollymauk, hesitated to kill them until the last.
The Mighty Nein on the whole are very reluctant to act as judge and jury. Molly especially. He has no desire to sit here and weigh his friend's sins.]
Just doesn't. [...] Don't think any of us would be where we were if there weren't fucked shit in our pasts. So we are what we are right now. Making new choices.
[He goes quiet for a while after that, since it just sort of seems like a lot was said and accepted, and maybe the horse doesn't need to be beaten into a paste about it. Pulling him in a little closer again, just turning his face to kiss him on top of his head once. Touchy-feely week, man. Though it's a gesture he's familiar with anyway, this time just without the slap in front of it. Seems like Caleb's progressed beyond the need for slapping.]
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Well. They never did anything to deserve it. Never did anything but care for me and support me. And they aren't - I have killed many, many others, too, who never did anything to deserve death besides being branded traitors to the Empire.
[He doesn't say this exactly like he's trying to get Molly to realize how bad it is so much as he feels a little like he ought to stand up for these people who he killed; their lives weren't this meaningless.]
There were lies, and manipulations, and I was very young, as young as some people here. But everything I did I did by choice, too, so it is hard to understand how it changes nothing.
no subject
The Mighty Nein on the whole are very reluctant to act as judge and jury. Molly especially. He has no desire to sit here and weigh his friend's sins.]
Just doesn't. [...] Don't think any of us would be where we were if there weren't fucked shit in our pasts. So we are what we are right now. Making new choices.
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Alright. [Just. Leaning his head against him.]
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[He goes quiet for a while after that, since it just sort of seems like a lot was said and accepted, and maybe the horse doesn't need to be beaten into a paste about it. Pulling him in a little closer again, just turning his face to kiss him on top of his head once. Touchy-feely week, man. Though it's a gesture he's familiar with anyway, this time just without the slap in front of it. Seems like Caleb's progressed beyond the need for slapping.]