[Just giving him an ugh look, but. Okay. TMI aside, she is sort of relieved by that.]
It's definitely for the best. What a mess. [. . .] I only thought that. . . there was more potential for damage in a few different ways, the more time you spent together. It wasn't just "sex mistakes."
For the record, I'm glad you listened. It just surprised me.
Don't pout. I'm new to all of this. Having friends business.
[Like. It was like two weeks ago that he had to explain to her she could just ask White not to spread her personal stuff around instead of threaten to kill him?]
I spent some time thinking of the appropriate approach. On the one hand, I know you did not intend anything malicious, and your intercession at trial was precisely what I had been hoping our arrangement would allow for. On the other hand. . . [Her eyes glitter a little in that malicious way she has sometimes.]
No, I cannot simply forgive the transgression. Unburdened by kindness, I am free to punish you in an appropriately nasty way. And it struck me that this is the exact circumstance the type of drastic measures I began to put into practice last week were created for.
[look, all today has been harrow bringing him gifts of knowing who curse culprits are and calling him 'a friend' outloud, he suspects strongly that he is being fucked with at least a little right now, but also as a friend he would like to give harrow this little show of being Very Scary so he acts appropriately
also he does actually think she kind of deserves to rip into him for it? he fucked up. he put her in danger. whatever she thinks is fair probably is.]
[Anyway. Drastic measures. Looking him directly in the eye, deadly seriously.]
There have been a fair few people I have known who would have done whatever Lady Nonagesimus asked of them - even go to their graves. And I have asked, and they have done.
I have never asked as Harrowhark. I have never had any reason to believe anyone would care what becomes of Harrowhark. And I told you that, when I asked. To ask is not a trifling thing to me, and you knew that, and you still did not treat it with the seriousness I demanded. Oh, you made your oath, when you felt I needed to hear it. But you did not take the time to give sufficient thought to the meaning of your words, or else you would have spotted the flaw. And that is unacceptable.
[She thinks she deserves to rip into him, too! And that's why he's getting the absolute worst punishment she can think of - being told very sincerely that it hurt her feelings.]
[it really is the worst punishment possible! he feels, uh, bad.
there's about a thousand things he could say in response, ranging from the simpering (`I did it because the only thing I could think of in that moment was how best to protect you`) to the deprecating humor (`you've seen my memories, you should be well aware that jumping in without thinking through consequences such as a glaive through my chest is not my strong suite`) the bitterly defensive (`you didn't notice either and you're supposed to be the smart one here`)
but none of those really feel appropriate. she'd said it all really. it was unacceptable. disappointing. he at least has the decency to look very very ashamed.]
... You're right. I'm sorry. I should have done better by you.
It did work, though. It wouldn't work on a more drastic curse, I need to retain a degree of boundaries to avoid manipulation, but on something like this it was effective.
[She continues patting him, thoughtful.]
Every time someone tried to tell me that I was remembering it wrong, it only became worse. The curse made me believe our conversation on Sunday had been fairly benign, and I'd overreacted in assuming she would kill someone. Which is. . . not not something I would do. I just became more and more aware how little my actions had made sense in light of what I remembered, but I put the discrepancy down to the actions themselves being irrational, not the memories.
Just knowing that I needed to, as a general matter, act from the understanding that my thinking was impaired was a better solution.
Yes. But we need a new one - we used it too publicly. I doubt anyone noticed, but best to be careful. There's a power this week that allows for impersonation.
Great. You should take the one about rocks remaining unrolled and such. Sounds more natural coming from you. And for yourself? Or should you leave it to me again?
That isn't the case. He is truly a humble man who does not insist on receiving any praise, but he is praiseworthy and thus receives it.
[But. It's probably a positive development that we're joking about Nonagon now?]
The circumstances aren't comparable because he didn't just read about a spell in a book and name himself after it despite clearly doing it wrong. He actually resurrected humanity from extinction.
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It's definitely for the best. What a mess. [. . .] I only thought that. . . there was more potential for damage in a few different ways, the more time you spent together. It wasn't just "sex mistakes."
For the record, I'm glad you listened. It just surprised me.
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[he does't seem offended just. she can't be that shocked he'd just listen if she pulled a card like "IT'S IMPORTANT."]
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[Hmm.]
Don't pout. I'm new to all of this. Having friends business.
[Like. It was like two weeks ago that he had to explain to her she could just ask White not to spread her personal stuff around instead of threaten to kill him?]
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I'm not pouting! If I were entering a full-on sulk, you'd know it. It's what I was trying to do earlier.
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I know. Don't think I've forgotten. Priorities.
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[...]
Well go on then.
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No, I cannot simply forgive the transgression. Unburdened by kindness, I am free to punish you in an appropriately nasty way. And it struck me that this is the exact circumstance the type of drastic measures I began to put into practice last week were created for.
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also he does actually think she kind of deserves to rip into him for it? he fucked up. he put her in danger. whatever she thinks is fair probably is.]
You're toying with your prey now, Harrowhark.
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[Anyway. Drastic measures. Looking him directly in the eye, deadly seriously.]
There have been a fair few people I have known who would have done whatever Lady Nonagesimus asked of them - even go to their graves. And I have asked, and they have done.
I have never asked as Harrowhark. I have never had any reason to believe anyone would care what becomes of Harrowhark. And I told you that, when I asked. To ask is not a trifling thing to me, and you knew that, and you still did not treat it with the seriousness I demanded. Oh, you made your oath, when you felt I needed to hear it. But you did not take the time to give sufficient thought to the meaning of your words, or else you would have spotted the flaw. And that is unacceptable.
[She thinks she deserves to rip into him, too! And that's why he's getting the absolute worst punishment she can think of - being told very sincerely that it hurt her feelings.]
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there's about a thousand things he could say in response, ranging from the simpering (`I did it because the only thing I could think of in that moment was how best to protect you`) to the deprecating humor (`you've seen my memories, you should be well aware that jumping in without thinking through consequences such as a glaive through my chest is not my strong suite`) the bitterly defensive (`you didn't notice either and you're supposed to be the smart one here`)
but none of those really feel appropriate. she'd said it all really. it was unacceptable. disappointing. he at least has the decency to look very very ashamed.]
... You're right. I'm sorry. I should have done better by you.
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[. . . Reaching out and awkwardly patting him on the back.]
Don't look so glum about it. I do bear some responsibility too, as I'm much smarter than you are.
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[pat patted. he still looks a bit glum.]
No one's ever made me swear an oath before. I got too overexcited!
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[She continues patting him, thoughtful.]
Every time someone tried to tell me that I was remembering it wrong, it only became worse. The curse made me believe our conversation on Sunday had been fairly benign, and I'd overreacted in assuming she would kill someone. Which is. . . not not something I would do. I just became more and more aware how little my actions had made sense in light of what I remembered, but I put the discrepancy down to the actions themselves being irrational, not the memories.
Just knowing that I needed to, as a general matter, act from the understanding that my thinking was impaired was a better solution.
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I wouldn't have used it unless it was necessary, but it seemed like the best way to cut through the noise.
[he sniffs a bit, just thinking it over.]
So, maybe keep it in place for curses and the like. But if you show up in a strange hotel, don't listen to anyone about any manticores.
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And should we do the same for me? In case of more love arrow incidents?
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[She sighs, begrudgingly.]
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[Hm.]
Time to visit a friend called John?
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[She doesn't associate 'John' with the toilet she doesn't realize.]
John Gaius is the secret name of my God. So it has a hidden meaning.
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Sure. [but,] John is the secret name? You'd think the more boring name would be the non-secret one.
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Like being a Lucien and deciding that your new name is Nonagon.
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That isn't the case. He is truly a humble man who does not insist on receiving any praise, but he is praiseworthy and thus receives it.
[But. It's probably a positive development that we're joking about Nonagon now?]
The circumstances aren't comparable because he didn't just read about a spell in a book and name himself after it despite clearly doing it wrong. He actually resurrected humanity from extinction.
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