[Anyway. Drastic measures. Looking him directly in the eye, deadly seriously.]
There have been a fair few people I have known who would have done whatever Lady Nonagesimus asked of them - even go to their graves. And I have asked, and they have done.
I have never asked as Harrowhark. I have never had any reason to believe anyone would care what becomes of Harrowhark. And I told you that, when I asked. To ask is not a trifling thing to me, and you knew that, and you still did not treat it with the seriousness I demanded. Oh, you made your oath, when you felt I needed to hear it. But you did not take the time to give sufficient thought to the meaning of your words, or else you would have spotted the flaw. And that is unacceptable.
[She thinks she deserves to rip into him, too! And that's why he's getting the absolute worst punishment she can think of - being told very sincerely that it hurt her feelings.]
[it really is the worst punishment possible! he feels, uh, bad.
there's about a thousand things he could say in response, ranging from the simpering (`I did it because the only thing I could think of in that moment was how best to protect you`) to the deprecating humor (`you've seen my memories, you should be well aware that jumping in without thinking through consequences such as a glaive through my chest is not my strong suite`) the bitterly defensive (`you didn't notice either and you're supposed to be the smart one here`)
but none of those really feel appropriate. she'd said it all really. it was unacceptable. disappointing. he at least has the decency to look very very ashamed.]
... You're right. I'm sorry. I should have done better by you.
It did work, though. It wouldn't work on a more drastic curse, I need to retain a degree of boundaries to avoid manipulation, but on something like this it was effective.
[She continues patting him, thoughtful.]
Every time someone tried to tell me that I was remembering it wrong, it only became worse. The curse made me believe our conversation on Sunday had been fairly benign, and I'd overreacted in assuming she would kill someone. Which is. . . not not something I would do. I just became more and more aware how little my actions had made sense in light of what I remembered, but I put the discrepancy down to the actions themselves being irrational, not the memories.
Just knowing that I needed to, as a general matter, act from the understanding that my thinking was impaired was a better solution.
Yes. But we need a new one - we used it too publicly. I doubt anyone noticed, but best to be careful. There's a power this week that allows for impersonation.
Great. You should take the one about rocks remaining unrolled and such. Sounds more natural coming from you. And for yourself? Or should you leave it to me again?
That isn't the case. He is truly a humble man who does not insist on receiving any praise, but he is praiseworthy and thus receives it.
[But. It's probably a positive development that we're joking about Nonagon now?]
The circumstances aren't comparable because he didn't just read about a spell in a book and name himself after it despite clearly doing it wrong. He actually resurrected humanity from extinction.
Never met him, so I'll take your word for it, but the types that always go around insisting on not getting any praise while simultaneously saying to call me God are always the worst ones, in my opinion. At least enjoy the show a bit.
[yeah its probably a positive development to be able to joke about Nonagon.]
[Still so unimpressed but like. She for real is happy he's able to acknowledge that enough to joke about it so she can't be too mad.]
At least from my understanding of Pre-Resurrection history, there never were sentient non-human species living in the Dominicus system. In fact, the earth that many of the people here are from is actually the First House, where he was born.
[. . . She'll just explain the situation in a little more detail, now that they know each other better.]
You saw him in one of my memories; he asked me to become a Lyctor after the fall of Canaan House, but offered that I might return to the Ninth House instead. It was a false choice; for reasons I came to understand later, Lyctorhood means that I am irrevocably in his service and must quickly learn to master it. So I have been living on the Mithraeum with God and the remaining Lyctoral Saints attempting to learn.
It is an enormous honour, you understand. There have only been nine who have been chosen in the ten thousand years since the Resurrection, and I am the ninth.
I have lived all my life trying to find a way to. . . to justify my birth. Bringing this honour to the Ninth House - its own daughter, one of the Emperor Undying's fists and gestures - it is beyond what my mother and father and my ancestors could have imagined. It is beyond anything I had ever hoped to accomplish. And it allowed me the power to save Drearburh. When I last left, we were dying; we were on the verge of extinction. I was able to send a new population, new resources, and now it will survive.
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[Anyway. Drastic measures. Looking him directly in the eye, deadly seriously.]
There have been a fair few people I have known who would have done whatever Lady Nonagesimus asked of them - even go to their graves. And I have asked, and they have done.
I have never asked as Harrowhark. I have never had any reason to believe anyone would care what becomes of Harrowhark. And I told you that, when I asked. To ask is not a trifling thing to me, and you knew that, and you still did not treat it with the seriousness I demanded. Oh, you made your oath, when you felt I needed to hear it. But you did not take the time to give sufficient thought to the meaning of your words, or else you would have spotted the flaw. And that is unacceptable.
[She thinks she deserves to rip into him, too! And that's why he's getting the absolute worst punishment she can think of - being told very sincerely that it hurt her feelings.]
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there's about a thousand things he could say in response, ranging from the simpering (`I did it because the only thing I could think of in that moment was how best to protect you`) to the deprecating humor (`you've seen my memories, you should be well aware that jumping in without thinking through consequences such as a glaive through my chest is not my strong suite`) the bitterly defensive (`you didn't notice either and you're supposed to be the smart one here`)
but none of those really feel appropriate. she'd said it all really. it was unacceptable. disappointing. he at least has the decency to look very very ashamed.]
... You're right. I'm sorry. I should have done better by you.
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[. . . Reaching out and awkwardly patting him on the back.]
Don't look so glum about it. I do bear some responsibility too, as I'm much smarter than you are.
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[pat patted. he still looks a bit glum.]
No one's ever made me swear an oath before. I got too overexcited!
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[She continues patting him, thoughtful.]
Every time someone tried to tell me that I was remembering it wrong, it only became worse. The curse made me believe our conversation on Sunday had been fairly benign, and I'd overreacted in assuming she would kill someone. Which is. . . not not something I would do. I just became more and more aware how little my actions had made sense in light of what I remembered, but I put the discrepancy down to the actions themselves being irrational, not the memories.
Just knowing that I needed to, as a general matter, act from the understanding that my thinking was impaired was a better solution.
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I wouldn't have used it unless it was necessary, but it seemed like the best way to cut through the noise.
[he sniffs a bit, just thinking it over.]
So, maybe keep it in place for curses and the like. But if you show up in a strange hotel, don't listen to anyone about any manticores.
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And should we do the same for me? In case of more love arrow incidents?
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[She sighs, begrudgingly.]
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[Hm.]
Time to visit a friend called John?
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[She doesn't associate 'John' with the toilet she doesn't realize.]
John Gaius is the secret name of my God. So it has a hidden meaning.
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Sure. [but,] John is the secret name? You'd think the more boring name would be the non-secret one.
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Like being a Lucien and deciding that your new name is Nonagon.
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That isn't the case. He is truly a humble man who does not insist on receiving any praise, but he is praiseworthy and thus receives it.
[But. It's probably a positive development that we're joking about Nonagon now?]
The circumstances aren't comparable because he didn't just read about a spell in a book and name himself after it despite clearly doing it wrong. He actually resurrected humanity from extinction.
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[yeah its probably a positive development to be able to joke about Nonagon.]
Just humanity ... ?
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At least from my understanding of Pre-Resurrection history, there never were sentient non-human species living in the Dominicus system. In fact, the earth that many of the people here are from is actually the First House, where he was born.
So yes, only humanity.
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So, some sort of Calamity event happened in your world, and this god is the one that stuck around?
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[. . . She'll just explain the situation in a little more detail, now that they know each other better.]
You saw him in one of my memories; he asked me to become a Lyctor after the fall of Canaan House, but offered that I might return to the Ninth House instead. It was a false choice; for reasons I came to understand later, Lyctorhood means that I am irrevocably in his service and must quickly learn to master it. So I have been living on the Mithraeum with God and the remaining Lyctoral Saints attempting to learn.
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Do you want that? ... Lyctorhood and what not?
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It is an enormous honour, you understand. There have only been nine who have been chosen in the ten thousand years since the Resurrection, and I am the ninth.
I have lived all my life trying to find a way to. . . to justify my birth. Bringing this honour to the Ninth House - its own daughter, one of the Emperor Undying's fists and gestures - it is beyond what my mother and father and my ancestors could have imagined. It is beyond anything I had ever hoped to accomplish. And it allowed me the power to save Drearburh. When I last left, we were dying; we were on the verge of extinction. I was able to send a new population, new resources, and now it will survive.
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