[ he doesn't seem angry either, or in much of a yelling mood. just tired, mostly. sleepless and anxious. he'll stay at the door for now, leaning on the frame of it. ]
So was it just that you knew about Diluc from weeks ago, or that you know who killed Kaeya too?
[He might not be saying that with venom, but it actually cuts Rin pretty deep. And for a moment he scowls and starts to open his mouth like he's about to say something Really Rude, but he stops himself and rubs at his face while he sighs.]
Look, just- I get it. Nobody's in control of this, and everyone's mad about it because people we all care about keep dyin', there isn't even any feeling of 'justice was served' because it's not like the killers wanted to it in the first place, and we can't even go yell at the person who's actually at fault here. It sucks! And everyone's just tryin' to do the best they can.
I don't really wanna fight about it anymore. Even if you don't believe in what I try to see in other people, it's what I'm gonna keep doing. I just...that's all I have to offer, you know? I'm kind of an idiot otherwise.
[ he looks confused for a second, and then tilts his head. ]
I think you're missing my point here, which is that it isn't about believing or not believing in what you see in other people. I think Sheila is the best of us by far, and that's what I can see in others. You didn't have some special insight into his heart, you just knew already, and when you tried to say that somehow he was different, more elevated, or somehow above all this just because he loved someone too - that he couldn't have done it because you just happened to believe that and it counted more than the person we love, it didn't fuckin' land. Get it?
Diluc had murder in his eyes and he was definitely gonna try to kill whoever killed Kaeya if we found them.
[Or, well. Hua Cheng and YJH were ready to intercept him, but midtrial attempts definitely would have happened.]
If he had been the one who had killed Kaeya, he would've been more...fuck, what's the word...somber? Not as angry as he was.
That's what I was trying to say, but I couldn't get the words out right. I don't think he's someone special who can overcome the shadows with 'the power of love' or something, he just wasn't acting right to have killed Kaeya specifically.
That is very different from what you were saying, friend.
Anyway, if you say so. I'd be real careful with those assumptions, considering the shadows. Kazunari was in total disbelief when we found him, and had actively helped solve his own damned murder the whole time. Suppose you've spoken to Diluc after he did his, but I'm not sure how much control they actually have.
[Rin's going to move on there, because he would rather share what he knows now that he feels like he can talk about it.]
Diluc did explain it some, yeah. He said it was like...he knew the shadow was there, and he knew he had to do his best not to get caught. He said that, for him at least, it was like he knew he had to do exactly what the shadow wanted to protect his hostage and he felt like it would be really really bad if he tried to even test that a little bit. And it was definitely influencing his mind some, like he couldn't have given a sign he was possessed at all. But he was still in control, and the stuff he did not related to his trial was all him. So it was kinda like a 'being forced to act like you're okay while a knife's being held to your back' kinda thing.
I dunno how that compares to any of the other killers still alive though, so...
[He probably should have been asking people about it while they were in gay baby jail whoops.]
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no subject
So was it just that you knew about Diluc from weeks ago, or that you know who killed Kaeya too?
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Diluc told me he killed weeks ago, right after his trial. That's why I was saying I was sure Diluc didn't kill. But I don't know who killed Kaeya, no.
no subject
[ he sounds way too tired to mean this with any actual venom. it's more just a sigh. ]
... I didn't mean what I said about Diluc. I don't care what he did.
no subject
Look, just- I get it. Nobody's in control of this, and everyone's mad about it because people we all care about keep dyin', there isn't even any feeling of 'justice was served' because it's not like the killers wanted to it in the first place, and we can't even go yell at the person who's actually at fault here. It sucks! And everyone's just tryin' to do the best they can.
I don't really wanna fight about it anymore. Even if you don't believe in what I try to see in other people, it's what I'm gonna keep doing. I just...that's all I have to offer, you know? I'm kind of an idiot otherwise.
no subject
I think you're missing my point here, which is that it isn't about believing or not believing in what you see in other people. I think Sheila is the best of us by far, and that's what I can see in others. You didn't have some special insight into his heart, you just knew already, and when you tried to say that somehow he was different, more elevated, or somehow above all this just because he loved someone too - that he couldn't have done it because you just happened to believe that and it counted more than the person we love, it didn't fuckin' land. Get it?
no subject
[Or, well. Hua Cheng and YJH were ready to intercept him, but midtrial attempts definitely would have happened.]
If he had been the one who had killed Kaeya, he would've been more...fuck, what's the word...somber? Not as angry as he was.
That's what I was trying to say, but I couldn't get the words out right. I don't think he's someone special who can overcome the shadows with 'the power of love' or something, he just wasn't acting right to have killed Kaeya specifically.
no subject
Anyway, if you say so. I'd be real careful with those assumptions, considering the shadows. Kazunari was in total disbelief when we found him, and had actively helped solve his own damned murder the whole time. Suppose you've spoken to Diluc after he did his, but I'm not sure how much control they actually have.
no subject
[Rin's going to move on there, because he would rather share what he knows now that he feels like he can talk about it.]
Diluc did explain it some, yeah. He said it was like...he knew the shadow was there, and he knew he had to do his best not to get caught. He said that, for him at least, it was like he knew he had to do exactly what the shadow wanted to protect his hostage and he felt like it would be really really bad if he tried to even test that a little bit. And it was definitely influencing his mind some, like he couldn't have given a sign he was possessed at all. But he was still in control, and the stuff he did not related to his trial was all him. So it was kinda like a 'being forced to act like you're okay while a knife's being held to your back' kinda thing.
I dunno how that compares to any of the other killers still alive though, so...
[He probably should have been asking people about it while they were in gay baby jail whoops.]