I'm not breaking my oath, Harrowhark. If I'm already at two people, one a mystery to me, then what's four or five? What's the point of this if I can't just fix the things I want to fix--
[He just goes to sit down somewhere, tail curling around his legs.]
I know she didn't. She was good. She left this place better than she found it.
[A little more quietly.] There's an order to these things. You first. The mystery to you, second. After both are taken care of, do whatever you please.
[Oh, Aoi. She just. . . hearing him describe her that way just. . .]
I need to stay angry for now. The time for useless regrets is later.
What should we do, then? We have to make sure we isolate any evidence related to Gu Yun at the earliest opportunity, and try to dissuade theories that fixate on that.
If necessary, there are others who can become involved, but I. . . feel that I have asked too much of them. If we fail tomorrow to find Aoi and Lenore's killers, I still won't give him up for anything. I can't demand that of someone else.
... I'm owed a favor from a few. I can pull those.
[He pauses, digging his claws into his own arms for a moment.]
Would it be better? To simply come outright and say "I've done this." We spend so much time chasing our tails-- but I can imagine the stubborn few who would choose to vote as they please anyway. A dangerous line.
It depends. I think ideally, he would admit to it all outright, and we could ignore any evidence related to him from the start. But there are two flaws with this strategy.
[. . .]
First, if we don't find Aoi and Lenore's killers, those who are too afraid to try for a no vote might find him an acceptable sacrifice.
Second. . . [she frowns a little] Second is that he might be lying to us. You know he had the incentive, and the desire. If he was lying, and there's some piece of evidence that would prove he attacked Mahito, it would be dangerous to give ourselves more time to stumble upon it.
[He'll admit that gu yun would simply tell them it was self-defense even if it wasn't.]
I spoke to Gojou about Mahito this week. He agreed that he was dangerous - beyond dangerous. Asked me to vote for him, should we come down to dire straits. I expect he and others won't be shocked by the concept of him choosing to attack someone.
That said the most likely piece of evidence to prove that Mahito was attacked and not the attacker is the one that's in my hands. If it showed that, I'd obviously just misrepresent what it showed.
One thing that occurs to me now is. . . if Mahito was truly a monster, he will be suspected of killing Aoi. But it seems quite unlikely he would take on two targets in one night, and make his second target Gu Yun.
We'll need to think of a way to move away from that theory. I suppose that they were in a sense friends. . .
Too risky. And not credible in the slightest that you wouldn't have thought to try warning anyone. If anything, it implicates those of us you might have tried warning even further.
Look, I think-- Knowing what you're fucking fighting for is important. Something that can make you happy. Your wish will, and adding this hope to it, something fucking solid to hold onto.
[his hands clasp together. she can be as angry or upset or warn him as much as she likes.]
If you won't make the decision for your own happiness, I will make it for you, and you can hate me for that all that you like. It's possible.
[She opens her eyes again, sits up, still holding her sword like a dumb stuffed animal, but glaring at him.]
That isn't how I am. I don't know how to function when there are things I'm afraid of losing. And there are already too many things, and I have grown unacceptably vulnerable in this regard, so do not give me more.
[She runs her hand through her hair, pushing back the hair hanging over her temple, her expression going from glinting malice to something a little more fearful.]
I promise you that if you do not keep your wish exactly as I have told you, you will regret it for the rest of your days.
That isn't what I'm saying and you know it. I won't- I'm doing as you ask. But if it has to be, I'll add it to mine and force you kicking and screaming with me. I've certainly been working my ass off, I think I'll be entitled to a little bit more.
But I know that you've been working hard, indulging and what not in your Despair ... shit. Your wish is for one person. So I need you to make it two, the same as you've told me. Your wish is two people now. The one you came for, and yourself.
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[He just goes to sit down somewhere, tail curling around his legs.]
I know she didn't. She was good. She left this place better than she found it.
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[Oh, Aoi. She just. . . hearing him describe her that way just. . .]
I need to stay angry for now. The time for useless regrets is later.
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Death first to vultures and scavengers then.
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[A grim smile at that.]
What should we do, then? We have to make sure we isolate any evidence related to Gu Yun at the earliest opportunity, and try to dissuade theories that fixate on that.
If necessary, there are others who can become involved, but I. . . feel that I have asked too much of them. If we fail tomorrow to find Aoi and Lenore's killers, I still won't give him up for anything. I can't demand that of someone else.
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[He pauses, digging his claws into his own arms for a moment.]
Would it be better? To simply come outright and say "I've done this." We spend so much time chasing our tails-- but I can imagine the stubborn few who would choose to vote as they please anyway. A dangerous line.
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[. . .]
First, if we don't find Aoi and Lenore's killers, those who are too afraid to try for a no vote might find him an acceptable sacrifice.
Second. . . [she frowns a little] Second is that he might be lying to us. You know he had the incentive, and the desire. If he was lying, and there's some piece of evidence that would prove he attacked Mahito, it would be dangerous to give ourselves more time to stumble upon it.
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[He'll admit that gu yun would simply tell them it was self-defense even if it wasn't.]
I spoke to Gojou about Mahito this week. He agreed that he was dangerous - beyond dangerous. Asked me to vote for him, should we come down to dire straits. I expect he and others won't be shocked by the concept of him choosing to attack someone.
That said the most likely piece of evidence to prove that Mahito was attacked and not the attacker is the one that's in my hands. If it showed that, I'd obviously just misrepresent what it showed.
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We'll need to think of a way to move away from that theory. I suppose that they were in a sense friends. . .
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[Reaching to tug a bit at his lip piercing, thinking it over.]
I could invent a conversation we had. One where he was considering a move against someone.
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... I asked Greed if it was an Eleanor situation, and his response is [squints. mouthing the words.]
Proceed as u-- ... Oh. Usual. Proceed as usual.
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[But. Whatever.]
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We wouldn't have earned some warning by now?
[Well.]
... I spoke to Despair about some things.
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[Rude, Harrow.]
What did you learn?
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[Leaning forward a bit.]
I asked about going some place other than where you originally came from.
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Molly. Don't.
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[his hands clasp together. she can be as angry or upset or warn him as much as she likes.]
If you won't make the decision for your own happiness, I will make it for you, and you can hate me for that all that you like. It's possible.
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[She opens her eyes again, sits up, still holding her sword like a dumb stuffed animal, but glaring at him.]
That isn't how I am. I don't know how to function when there are things I'm afraid of losing. And there are already too many things, and I have grown unacceptably vulnerable in this regard, so do not give me more.
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[Glaring right back?]
I'm not giving it to you to carry. It's with me. It's my fucking wish for you.
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[She knows that isn't exactly what he means, but still.]
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I promise you that if you do not keep your wish exactly as I have told you, you will regret it for the rest of your days.
I won't do that to you. Don't.
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But I know that you've been working hard, indulging and what not in your Despair ... shit. Your wish is for one person. So I need you to make it two, the same as you've told me. Your wish is two people now. The one you came for, and yourself.
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It's for one person? She brings her hand back to her temple again, confused, looking a little dizzy in her confusion.]
What? Who? There isn't. . .
[There isn't anyone like that. Worth using a wish on. It doesn't make any sense.]
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Mantico-- John. John John John. You just have to trust me. We're the same. Here for one little life, and some fucking mystery that we each hold.
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