[okay well. he gets a sharp spike of anger for just doing this in front of everyone like this.]
I was just trying to work out how to catch myself up. If I go back and change things, it is certain to disrupt everything that happens subsequently, or will mean we're in separate timelines.
The simplest way would be to find a way to send me back without remembering any of this, and then if that could be undone at the time I catch up to you, no harm done.
I mean, I understand. Knowing what comes down the line, or at least some of it -- I'm not keen to interfere too heavily with events that've already transpired, in case it somehow we end up breakin' it worse.
I think, it's just... this is time we've spent on ourselves too. Forgetting all this feels a bit of a shame.
Admittedly, I'm not in love with the whole Mollymauk is doomed to die for narrative of it all thing, but I'm willing to hear it out on the forgetting and remembering later.
[ *I like the part where you're doomed to die in every timeline. That one is fine with me. ]
[ Trying to remember the lore which is ICly for him, now OVER HALF A YEAR AGO and fill in gaps based off of what Beau has told him. ]
Maybe it just makes you kind of a dick about it after a while.
[ He unfortunately feels this now. ]
I'd certainly try to stop it, if I could, though.
[ He doesn't know it happens when he quite literally can't because he's in the torture dungeon as alluded above. That'll do wonderful things for his psyche. ]
Yeah yeah, counting chickens before they hatch and all.
Though on the "could" portion of this, I'd like to think so, considering I've been harangued into deciding that's okay for me to want, so I'd be a touch put out to find that it's not possible.
[ rumbles grouchily over here with the general feeling/thought process of like, she also hates it, obviously, that's why she's here in the first place, but also, if he didn't die who would she be? would they have stuck together? would there even be a mighty nein... she doesn't want to think about that. her biggest nightmare these days has always been a life without them.
this is all being broadcasted, also. she has no filters. ]
[ well it would be nice to be so good at being in touch with your fate that knowing your sacrifice is necessary and important is enough to make it easy and worth it. and it is worth it. he won't argue the point any harder than this very mild protest, because he does get it - it is important. but it is a little messier than benevolently returning to the grave and being soothed by the fact it's the most necessary catalyst for everyone else to have a good life. he can't really help that. there's the part of him that keep speaking up in his head that's a scrappy, nasty, bloody survivor that does not always want to be quiet. ]
I don't want it to be. But I don't want to change shit, because it's unpredictable. [ ... ] I don't - I haven't been thinking about it like we're just shoving you back in the ground, Molly, because you're there where I'm from. We just can't reach you.
Well, that is why you being here, too, complicates matters. It is no longer only me who has to be alright with this.
In some ways, for me, it would be better to forget about this. [To know I almost had the ability to do it and did not manage it...] But the same likely isn't true for you.
Still. What happens to you, and Jester, and Yasha in a few weeks' time... I don't want to force you to go back and live through it for nothing, either. Maybe it is better to call it all lost.
...It's... maybe if things were just a little bit different, I'd agree too.
[ Maybe back at the very beginning, when he still didn't have much. He would've had reservations about such a drastic measure, but maybe he could make the concession, for Molly and Beau. But right now, there's someone that he quite very specifically doesn't want to do this to. ]
Well, sure. I think... you either survive or you don't. If you survive, maybe things change, but you still wake up in the morning. And you are strong, so there is no surprise.
Shit. No, that... makes sense. Fjord's right that it does suck to lose all of this, but... you wouldn't lose it forever. I think we could make that work.
Honestly, I don't think we can even approach this until we know what the fuck is going on with the fans and what they're planning, which - I figure the crew knows more than I do about that.
[the feeling is relief because he genuinely thought this idea was solving a lot of problems but then molly reacted so badly to it.]
Ja. I just thought he and I should work it out before we knew which team was winning. Better if we are just in agreement on what to do, no matter what.
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I was just trying to work out how to catch myself up. If I go back and change things, it is certain to disrupt everything that happens subsequently, or will mean we're in separate timelines.
The simplest way would be to find a way to send me back without remembering any of this, and then if that could be undone at the time I catch up to you, no harm done.
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I mean, I understand. Knowing what comes down the line, or at least some of it -- I'm not keen to interfere too heavily with events that've already transpired, in case it somehow we end up breakin' it worse.
I think, it's just... this is time we've spent on ourselves too. Forgetting all this feels a bit of a shame.
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[ *I like the part where you're doomed to die in every timeline. That one is fine with me. ]
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[ Trying to remember the lore which is ICly for him, now OVER HALF A YEAR AGO and fill in gaps based off of what Beau has told him. ]
Maybe it just makes you kind of a dick about it after a while.
[ He unfortunately feels this now. ]
I'd certainly try to stop it, if I could, though.
[ He doesn't know it happens when he quite literally can't because he's in the torture dungeon as alluded above. That'll do wonderful things for his psyche. ]
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[ well, looking at his feet for a second, tail twitching around his ankles. ]
Seems like it might be for the best if we don't stop it? I mean, I can come back later.
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Maybe we see how this shit's gonna pan out first? Before we lock ourselves into a plan like that. It does feel a touch drastic.
[ He does have a reluctance to just... forget everything here. Especially certain people. ]
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Though on the "could" portion of this, I'd like to think so, considering I've been harangued into deciding that's okay for me to want, so I'd be a touch put out to find that it's not possible.
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this is all being broadcasted, also. she has no filters. ]
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It's alright if that's what it has to be.
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[ says it out loud. ]
I don't want it to be. But I don't want to change shit, because it's unpredictable. [ ... ] I don't - I haven't been thinking about it like we're just shoving you back in the ground, Molly, because you're there where I'm from. We just can't reach you.
I guess that's what it feels like, though.
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Just a bit daunting to look down the barrel of it and know its the only solution and such, you know?
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In some ways, for me, it would be better to forget about this. [To know I almost had the ability to do it and did not manage it...] But the same likely isn't true for you.
Still. What happens to you, and Jester, and Yasha in a few weeks' time... I don't want to force you to go back and live through it for nothing, either. Maybe it is better to call it all lost.
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...It's... maybe if things were just a little bit different, I'd agree too.
[ Maybe back at the very beginning, when he still didn't have much. He would've had reservations about such a drastic measure, but maybe he could make the concession, for Molly and Beau. But right now, there's someone that he quite very specifically doesn't want to do this to. ]
This thing... It's that bad?
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[he knows what he was told, about the iron shepherds torturing and breaking people, but...]
Our hope was to stop it before it became bad, but I don't know if we will succeed.
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...
If it helps alleviate anything, my Fear Factor foray was pretty -- it was pretty bad. But I made it there, so.
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Well, sure. I think... you either survive or you don't. If you survive, maybe things change, but you still wake up in the morning. And you are strong, so there is no surprise.
I still do not want such things to happen.
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I... try to be. Yeah. You too.
I appreciate it, Caleb.
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Shit. No, that... makes sense. Fjord's right that it does suck to lose all of this, but... you wouldn't lose it forever. I think we could make that work.
Honestly, I don't think we can even approach this until we know what the fuck is going on with the fans and what they're planning, which - I figure the crew knows more than I do about that.
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Ja. I just thought he and I should work it out before we knew which team was winning. Better if we are just in agreement on what to do, no matter what.
[I don't want to destroy the future you have.]
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[ first off. ]
We can all come to an agreement. Eventually. I think we gotta, with how spread out we are over time. We can't just go solo on this one.
[ they're all going to get very mad at each other probably and yell about it but they will figure it out. ]