Not as much as it sounds, if you ask me. Never mind the drawbacks, it's just more trouble than it's worth.
[there are just always going to be problems, so long as both exist independently.
speaking of things that are more trouble than they're worth, though- on this last day of memshare week i give to you cookie issues context. this is long i'm so sorry but you can skip over 1:21:36 to 1:25:24, and 1:25:59 to 1:30:15, or you can also just read this on the wiki here and start with the section titled "the choice is yours" to the end of the chapter.
...yeah so about guys who try to kill someone's friends in front of them,]
[ugh. he hates people seeing this one, he really does-- being deceived by pure vanilla, of all cookies, is one of the worst things that has ever happened to him.]
[a shake of his head, one hand reflexively lifting to rest on his soul jam.]
When I came here, it was with a sword through my guts and my consciousness trapped in a drab gray box-- courtesy of our own fellow Beast!-- and him and his other little hero friends on the other side of the war.
[his hand tightens.]
Either he gets what he wants here and, I presume, I go right back to that... or I get what I'm here for.
Think it's rarely ever too late for anything. You're here, aren't you? That's already a "what-if." The whole it's too late nonsense ... That's only the sort of thing people tell themselves so they don't have to do the work to make the "what-if" happen.
[ sorry he is just stubbornly arguing this, but it just mirrors a lot of what he's doing and it feels like a massive waste, if if it doesn't work out. if it all just goes to shit again. ]
I've come here, my consciousness trapped with nine outer gods who can't stop arguing with one another about hwo to best destroy the world, and my other self saying all that "it's too late" cockamamie, and I think that's a bunch of nonsense too.
I think he just doesn't want you to hurt people, or yourself. And the way he goes about it isn't perfect, but we can't expect the anyone else or the world to be perfect. Not without us trying. If you think people are always going to disappoint you, they will.
Don't know. I wouldn't argue with you if I thought you were an arsehole who couldn't make any other choice. I don't really think you're as terrible as you play yourself up to be. If you didn't want anything at all, if you just wanted to live in your world by yourself and have perfect control of everything, then why are you here?
Well, they've been doing their best to disappoint me so far! I don't know why I should expect any differently.
[that's just the easiest part to respond to, in the face of all of this.]
I'm here to finish what I started. [...] And if I didn't, then what? I abandon everything I've worked towards for the last several ages, and-- what, start over?
[he doesn't know how to do that, after millenia of focus on the one thing keeping him going.
...he also doesn't know how to admit that he doesn't know.]
Not that easy a thing to throw away. Besides-- there's, you know, the entire Beast of Deceit business? That isn't simply what I do, it's sort of what I am!
[a little shrug, waving one hand.]
They already extracted and purified out the parts of our power that were "salvageable". [with physical air quotes.] That's what Vanilla has now. Me? Juuust the corrupted parts.
Who is "they"? Why do "they" get to decide what part of your power is good or not? What if you didn't have any of that power at all? If it's all unsalvageable, get rid of it. Find something different. If you're really done with all of them, go somewhere else.
If you had all the power that you ever wanted, and no one was trying to stop you or hurt you or imprison you, what would you choose to do? Who would you be?
[all the power he wanted, no one trying to stop him...]
...I've already had that. This is what I chose to be with it-- Cookies had no more use for my virtue, the Witches had no more use for Earthbread, so this is what they've gotten instead!
[lies and chaos.
he may have been lashing out, like, just a little. a bit, over the last however long. oops girlies you created a perfectly good virtue and then forgot to give it coping skills...]
If nothing I've done so far has been enough to make the Witches look back... fine. I want them to realize, when they finally do, that they were too late to save their creations.
[what he's wanted to do with that power, if he regains it, is just to hurt them back.]
[ no its okay he understands this instinct he really really does. the idea that you could have all the power in the world and the only thing you want to do with it is to make the world hurt like you hurt. but it never really works out that way. ]
So, you already had it. I think I'm getting from this you didn't particularly enjoy that.
They baked us as the world's virtues. Their Emissaries. But when we needed them the most, when their precious little Earthbread needed them, where were they?
[he tried. they all tried, and their gods remained ominously silent.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Well that's convenient for them.
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[there are just always going to be problems, so long as both exist independently.
speaking of things that are more trouble than they're worth, though- on this last day of memshare week i give to you cookie issues context. this is long i'm so sorry but you can skip over 1:21:36 to 1:25:24, and 1:25:59 to 1:30:15, or you can also just read this on the wiki here and start with the section titled "the choice is yours" to the end of the chapter.
...yeah so about guys who try to kill someone's friends in front of them,]
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Kind of seems like you got your ass kicked.
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Yes, well, it didn't stick.
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[ like. it's clear he's lonely. what if he just chose not to be. ]
no subject
[not after what he'd said, before it happened.]
no subject
[ like. where you had all his friends captive and were trying to steal his soul essence. ]
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[he is eternally mad about that part, definitely.]
But he's far from the only one.
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[ what if? what if? ]
What if you listened to what he actually said, and believed him?
no subject
[a shake of his head, one hand reflexively lifting to rest on his soul jam.]
When I came here, it was with a sword through my guts and my consciousness trapped in a drab gray box-- courtesy of our own fellow Beast!-- and him and his other little hero friends on the other side of the war.
[his hand tightens.]
Either he gets what he wants here and, I presume, I go right back to that... or I get what I'm here for.
no subject
[ sorry he is just stubbornly arguing this, but it just mirrors a lot of what he's doing and it feels like a massive waste, if if it doesn't work out. if it all just goes to shit again. ]
I've come here, my consciousness trapped with nine outer gods who can't stop arguing with one another about hwo to best destroy the world, and my other self saying all that "it's too late" cockamamie, and I think that's a bunch of nonsense too.
I think he just doesn't want you to hurt people, or yourself. And the way he goes about it isn't perfect, but we can't expect the anyone else or the world to be perfect. Not without us trying. If you think people are always going to disappoint you, they will.
Don't know. I wouldn't argue with you if I thought you were an arsehole who couldn't make any other choice. I don't really think you're as terrible as you play yourself up to be. If you didn't want anything at all, if you just wanted to live in your world by yourself and have perfect control of everything, then why are you here?
no subject
[that's just the easiest part to respond to, in the face of all of this.]
I'm here to finish what I started. [...] And if I didn't, then what? I abandon everything I've worked towards for the last several ages, and-- what, start over?
no subject
[ sounds kind of nice, though, doesn't it? ]
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...he also doesn't know how to admit that he doesn't know.]
Not that easy a thing to throw away. Besides-- there's, you know, the entire Beast of Deceit business? That isn't simply what I do, it's sort of what I am!
[a little shrug, waving one hand.]
They already extracted and purified out the parts of our power that were "salvageable". [with physical air quotes.] That's what Vanilla has now. Me? Juuust the corrupted parts.
no subject
[ he makes it sound so simple. ]
Who is "they"? Why do "they" get to decide what part of your power is good or not? What if you didn't have any of that power at all? If it's all unsalvageable, get rid of it. Find something different. If you're really done with all of them, go somewhere else.
If you had all the power that you ever wanted, and no one was trying to stop you or hurt you or imprison you, what would you choose to do? Who would you be?
no subject
...I've already had that. This is what I chose to be with it-- Cookies had no more use for my virtue, the Witches had no more use for Earthbread, so this is what they've gotten instead!
[lies and chaos.
he may have been lashing out, like, just a little. a bit, over the last however long. oops girlies you created a perfectly good virtue and then forgot to give it coping skills...]
If nothing I've done so far has been enough to make the Witches look back... fine. I want them to realize, when they finally do, that they were too late to save their creations.
[what he's wanted to do with that power, if he regains it, is just to hurt them back.]
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[ no its okay he understands this instinct he really really does. the idea that you could have all the power in the world and the only thing you want to do with it is to make the world hurt like you hurt. but it never really works out that way. ]
So, you already had it. I think I'm getting from this you didn't particularly enjoy that.
You want the attention of these Witches?
no subject
[he tried. they all tried, and their gods remained ominously silent.]
Nowhere! Nowhere, no matter what happens-