Well, I didn't want to interrupt! And the more time I spend around White, the kinder I feel like I have to be to him, which is odd. [ he's very light and teasing about it, playfully. he doesn't really feel the urge to be mean to molly besides like, normal asshole bullying in general so at least the effect isn't in place much! everything is great.
he does wander over to the mini fridge for a moment, but it's to fetch out a bottle of booze. ]
But no, no. I'm alright, it's not bad. Shi Qingxuan brought me a bottle of baiju, and I'm quite good at self medicating. [ gu yun gives the bottle a wiggle. ]
[ he looks so deeply dead inside at the bottle in his hand for a minute and then just. takes a swig of it. ]
Right. You know me. Not much of a sweet tooth. The saccharine and I don't mesh. Besides, the migraine was coming on.
[ eventually he sighs and screws the cap back on. might as well bring it with. ]
...Fine, fine. I suppose I could take a nap. [ this is so
weird. everything about it is terrible. he has zero idea what to do with it, either, besides hide it and pretend like nothing is different and the world is not upside down. no gay drama here. ]
[reaching over to tuck some of his hair behind an ear? he knows that gy loves to be a sass. this week sure is probably hard for him because of that and that alone! pushing him to move towards the loft then.]
Feel a bit bad celebrating it but it is nice you've got the room to yourself isn't it?
he's feeling the urge to down this entire bottle for the second time today, but that's fine. the nudge is the escape route, and he turns, going for the stairs to make his way up. ]
Sure, sure. Reminds me of home. [ it's got that same sort of cavernous feel as the marquis' mansion does. big, empty, the bare bones of a home not lived in despite two generations of gus calling it home.
as he gets up the stairs there's a moment where gu yun stops, right at the top - and then takes a bigger step, over towards the coffee table, swiping something off of it with a rustling noise and heading over to the closet. if molly's really quick in looking, he might catch a flash of yellow or purple before its being swept off into the closet and the door's shut.
he's using that quick motion to go drop onto the bed, though. yes. all very planned. ]
[He pretty high on the perception check. he catches the flash of color, but-- doesn't question it. Just assumes it's hiding something embarrassing. he doesn't know why he feels so odd about this today. probably just the strange conversations they'd had over the weekend, dancing around something. but they'd moved past that, right? agreed that they'd heard each other.
maybe it's just the migraine, then. molly just goes to drag his coat off and lay it over the back of a chair, carefully.]
Feels like I've something in my teeth all day, you know. People are looking at me like there's something fucked up and just won't spit it out.
[ this is the worst time for his heart to do that flipping thing, yeah. trust is a really big thing for him don't do this rn ]
... So if I tell you something seriously, even if you don't want to hear it, then you'll trust the fact that what I'm saying is true, and I'm not just blowing smoke up either of our asses. Right?
[molly just squeezes his hands a bit, tail curling around a little protectively. almost as if he's prepared himself for this sort of conversation, or his head is jumping to make connections, scrambling for any sort of path or reason or escape hatch, and his mouth starts moving before he can really stop himself.]
If you're-- If you're jealous of White or Envy or anything else like that, you don't have to be. I love White, and that's . . . uncomplicated. I don't know why, but it makes sense, he's - I feel good around him. But he's got other things going on too, and I don't care about that. Envy is sweet and I like him but - you're
[the whole bakery?]
I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. You're my friend. I'm doing the thing where I run my fecking mouth again, just--
[he's going that purplier color and his tail flicks back and forth rapidly now, because part of this feels wrong and part of it feels right and he isn't sure he should be saying any of it.]
[ as he's finishing saying "i'm shutting up" gu yun lets go of his hands, then grabs molly's stupid face with his cold fingers and kisses him.
it's just once, but it lingers, maybe a little graceless, maybe a little long, close mouthed, but it gets his point across better than any words either of them have completely failed at making in the past few days.
he pulls back. not far, red in the cheeks, flustered, but staring dead on at him because this situation is fucking ridiculous. kind of what-are-you-an-idiot-sandwich-ing him, too, as gu yun just goes and says it. ]
Someone cursed you. It's uncomplicated because it'll wear off. [ there. god. he hopes it'll wear off. ] I'm not - I don't care. [ that's. that sounded more callous than he meant it to, but not enough to kick in any forced kindness so-- that's fine, he's just gonna be the one to keep talking and not shutting up. maybe the universe will sense that he's trying.
the fierce quality to his voice doesn't fade, but it's. a little softer than before, maybe. ] I care that someone's manipulated you for no reason. And. With White too, I guess, you said two days ago it made him angry when you joked about it, but that's -- that isn't the point. Don't really want to talk about him right now. [ alright maybe like. a tiny bit. it's not a lot, though. he'd be less annoyed by it if he could bully white over it. ]
You don't have to believe me, and, when it's over and I can rub it in your face, you can tell me how many times I was right, and I will be keeping track of how many times you do.
I'm not jealous of anything. I don't - that's not the kind of person I am. There's. [ a beat. he pauses, wavering before soldiering on, finally, looking away from him for a half a second and swallowing a lump in his throat of something before returning back to it - ]...I don't think there's a reason to be, because - I said something, and you liked what I said. And that's more...
... it's just more.
Right? [ maybe he's bad at this, and maybe it's all new and most of it makes him want to run screaming a hundred miles in the other direction and then very tentatively come back, but. this is something a little more than that. full bakeries, and the like.
gu yun's not a very jealous person, anyway, and, there's - everything is complicated here, but this is. well. they've complicated parts of this enough on their own. did someone else really have to step in?
belatedly, intense look and all finally fading, he releases his face. ]
...There. I ran my mouth too. [ embarrassing. gu yun's ears are red again. ]
[ love that they waited until the day after confession week was over so they could have to fight through two layers of curses and fifty layers of terrible bad feelings to get this out i think that's very on brand
mollymauk, who is feeling a truly fatal amount of emotions right spanning the entire spectrum of possibilities, shame and fear and relief and . . .
he presses back into the kiss, closemouthed and desperate too, enough until it hurts a bit, because miserably enough they haven't kissed since that funny little moment when they both said they liked it and wanted to do more of it. stupid how these things happen.
there's-- well. he can't really understand the part about being cursed, or, he can, because he has the exact same fucking curse in his back pocket, but surely that's not what's happening to him? that's not possible. it's different. and a smaller, nasty little part of his mind goes, well. you cast your charm on people all the time, and they never realize until it's over either, do they? and then it's crushed right back down.
it's not true and he shouldn't say such fucking vicious things before saying such sweet ones. ]
Right.
[ And he sounds so broken and miserable when he says it, that it must simply be the truth. he's never told a lie without some bit of glee behind his teeth. the truth always asks its price, though, doesn't it? ]
[ ah, he's really gone and impaled this, hasn't he.
it's. talking about things like this is like jumping off of a fucking cliff. no gu man has ever dared to show a single ounce of emotion and gu yun is his father's son. talking about feelings makes him feel like he's stripped naked and run down the main streets of great liang for no reason - weird, and embarrassed, and wanting to run away.
so he just. when that miserable tone comes out, he clamps down on himself, locks it away and throws the key. ]
... Guess I complicated it. [ there's a huff, to that, a little humorless, as he drops his hands into his lap. god. he hates this. he's going to find the person who did this and wring their neck. because what he said was true - it's the part about putting molly through this that makes him the most annoyed. it's the part that he knows how hard it is to talk about this sort of thing when it's real, and it's shitty, and he deserves a lot more than being someone's puppet for their amusement, or something worse. ] I'll figure it out.
[ find a way to try and break it, anyway. he's gonna try. there has to be something. ]
... If it makes you feel good, then go with it. Sort of what matters. [ just don't sound that miserable. fuck. ] I'll be here.
[he can't say anything with the force he wants to. so it's gentle. don't start down that road.]
I liked what you said.
[ hm. well. jumping to the conclusion that it's the love arrow effect is the entire reason he feels completely stripped raw by this! yeah it's definitely entirely that. surely it's not also the . . . - he'd told greed earlier that he doesn't feel guilt, doesn't get it, but oh! how fucking guilty he feels for getting invested in something like this. a dead man, one foot in the grave. a revenant struggling to keep its claws in a body that doesn't quite belong to him anymore. that maybe there's a reason some distance was a smart idea.
neither option feels particularly good right now. so maybe that's why it's enough to swallow all that love and devotion for someone else and put something else next to it for a brief moment.
he knows gu yun has a migraine and he feels pretty shitty at the moment too, but but he'd said if it makes him feel good, to go with it. so he shoves gu yun by the shoulders down onto the bed and kisses him, not very kindly.]
[ (the truth is, he doesn't have a migraine at all. it's just much easier to lie, than to show for a second that something bothers you deeper than surface level.)
some part of him will always tense up, but the phrase knocks some of it out of him, and gu yun drops, letting molly kiss him. and it's not - sweet, but this is so much easier. it's so much fewer words, and despite being a silver-tongued kind of person, when it comes to something this big, gu yun's a fish trying to walk on land. his hands come back up, again, one at the opening at the front of molly's shirt, the other at the back of his neck, fingers snarling into his hair and holding him there, so he doesn't move away.
this is a conversation in its own right, and some of the frustration from earlier leaks into it. it's not at molly. it's at having his sharpness taken from him, softened into false kindness at moments when he doesn't want it, and how moments where he's trying to do something right still come out sharp. it's at this stupid situation, and how much he despises not knowing things, how much gu yun hates how many actions are so wildly out of his control no matter what. it's frustration at his vision, fading the world into darkness at the corners, like he's constantly viewing everything through cupped hands, and knowing that there's no way to fix it, no dose of miss chen's medicine waiting. everything is in the dark, and soon, that won't just be metaphorical.
so yeah, fuck it! he's not letting molly get away from that kiss, anytime soon. he'll be the one sinking his claws in, and not letting go. ]
[It's early still in the hours of this endless week of kindness and he's already craving those little bits and flashes of something else - sparks of pain when his hair is pulled, how it isn't a gentle touch at the front of his shirt. at least if it's frustration taken out on him instead of frustration at him, it can work around the annoying kindness thing, maybe. all he knows is he wants more of that right now. his own hands scrabble for the front of gu yun's robe, all fumbling claws and some breathless laughter. He turns away from the kiss only so he can run his damn mouth again.]
Pull my horns. Bite me. Yank my tail. Do whatever the hell you want, Zixi.
[it's fine. he's got room for more than one person, at least right now. he'd accepted what he was told earlier (white has feelings for someone else, you should stop flaunting it or you'll hurt them) and maybe, he thinks, it's fine if he takes some of the same. just ignores the bit of guilt at the back of his mind. that feeling from that cold hotel room. You want this.]
[ there's a beat, a little breathless, as molly presses those words like kisses in their own right. and then, barely a second later, comes his muttered - ] I'll absolutely yank your tail. [ in the sort of bawdy, tongue in cheek humor that's so much more familiar, so much easier to grab onto. it's not quite as spirited as it usually is, but it's a start, and when he turns his head for another fierce kiss, the corner of his mouth is lifted briefly in a smile.
and besides, molly's asking. giving permission, really - and not granting what he asks for wouldn't be very kind.
pushing a knee into the side of his hips and squirming out of the top of his robes in the process, he pivots his weight to send them rolling over, throwing a leg over molly's waist instead and bracketing his head with his forearms as he hits the bed. i liked what you said. it's maybe i just like you, and he chomps down on the words before they come anywhere close to his mouth, replacing it with a little kinder truth. ] I don't really have a migraine. I'm just tired of having to play nice against my will.
[ don't you just want to go apeshit? yeah!! sometimes you do a little bit! this is going to be a very long, very terrible week, and throwing "not getting to spend time with molly" on top of everything else, after - after everything that happened last week had put him in a very, very sour mood, more than gu yun was even remotely ready to try and put a name to.
he nips molly's lower lip when he kisses him again, hungry and wanting and taking, a little. maybe it's selfish. maybe it's not. maybe leaving a hickey on him where anyone can see it with his stupid open shirt is selfish, too. it's indulgent, at the very least. ]
[for all of the melodramatics earlier, he's cheered right up now - especially when he's flipped so easily like that. ridiculous how much stronger he is than molly, and how he only seems to acknowledge it sometimes. his hands move instantly to run over gu yun's chest, down to his waist - where, out of the kindness of his heart he chooses not to tickle him at all.]
Please don't play nice. Don't play nice then--
[ if it wasn't kindness week, it'd be less begging and more of a demand, but, here they are. he feels greedy and demanding. more. take it, then. kindness is sharing and offering freely too. He's forced to be quiet when he's kissed again, groaning when he's nipped at and louder still when he starts getting that hickey on his chest, right where anyone can see it. ]
[ it just - it shouldn't make him more frustrated to hear that last part, but it does. because gu yun's heart is soft, ultimately - it's the only part of him that's not forged into iron - and it's heartbreaking to hear that. not in the sense of 'rejection', or something, because that isn't the case it all. it just pisses him off, to know that someone fucked up molly for what he imagines was just because someone thought it would be funny. at least if there was malicious intent to it, there was a point.
he's listening, though, while he can. the hands that move down his body catch the length of his massive scar and the little ones underneath it, and by now he's used to molly's hands on him. finding them touching without tickling is maybe the one blessing of this week, right now, but he'll take it for what it is, naturally arching into it as he ducks down and presses another suckling kiss, another, another, leaving his mark on molly among those tattoos and little scars.
it feels like the mantra of this week is really if you have something nice to say, then don't say it at all. some part of him thinks, because it's not true, and another part fights against it, with, because i know how you sound when you mean it. doesn't he? all of their tripping and falling and failing up to this point, leading up to something ridiculous like this.
instead, the compulsion of kindness finds its way to his mouth, as he pulls off for air, leaving a trail of darker purple in his wake. ] I've got you. [ is what comes out, low from his chest, hot with low restlessness and irritation, but with something more than that, too. i've got you, because if molly says he don't play nice, then he won't. he'll take what's being given, selfishly, greedily, and mark up the column of his throat with reckless abandon. his teeth aren't sharp, like a tiefling, but every part of him makes up for it otherwise.
i've got you, like, i hear what you're saying. you aren't crazy - someone was just unbelievably cruel. ]
[The more frustrated gu yun gets, the more molly seems to be enjoying himself. kind of rude, but, hey. he doesn't care about any blunt teeth, biting his own lip almost to the point of bleeding just fine on his own. he considers just grabbing gu yun's hand and putting it on a horn so he can twist his head and neck any way he needs it to be for more of this, but decides against it - the more demanding he finds himself wanting to be, the gentler his hands move, tracing scars and dropping lower, getting in the way. tugging at more clothes because it definitely feels like the time for clothes is over.
he does feel a bit out of his mind, because, well, when he's just been handed some sort of pure, uncomplicated love on a silver platter, he's still here, choosing to do this too. chasing after that sting of pain through the pleasure. that probably makes him sort of fucked up in some way. he cannot really give a single fuck about it anymore at this moment.]
If you're going to impale me, I do have to at least get my boots off.
[ it's so odd to not know what he's doing. at any given time, gu yun always does - or, at least, he pretends to, and then learns and learns and learns so he doesn't have to feel that way again. with something like this, he's out of left field, and trying to combat everything he's feeling about it is impossible. it's messy, and complicated, and he's trying - and it's only really getting worse, because his stupid dog mouth doesn't know how to work properly, and his clever little brain is actually pretty stupid when it comes to matters like this, too. so there's frustration, and something else, too, sticky and clinging that he can't seem to shake. but, a little quip like that...
it drags him out of what he's doing, all laser focus and busy mouth, forming a hickey right at a line between bare skin and tattoo, and for a moment, it drags him right out of the moment along with it.
because it's -- it just feels normal for a second, and gu yun can't help the laugh that startles out of him, briefly dropping his forehead against molly's shoulder and closing his eyes, his shoulders shaking once with the silent mirth that comes from it. ]
Imagine we just left them. [ this comes a little dryly, tilting his head up to finally make eye contact again, pink cheek lolled against his collar. it doesn't last too long before he's getting up to go do just that.
this is really the most on brand thread we've ever had especially the part where i dont know how to fade to black at all ]
[he could! he could just leave them! molly has no argument against that!
instead of fade to black ill just say /blows a kiss to the ceiling for pride 🔔🔔 aren't you glad they're the only pride team left now and its just gonna be THIS constantly
anyway, after molly is the one who's just laying there, staring kind of dazed at the ceiling. really feeling that mix of totally amazing and completely shitty that means something was probably a terrible idea but also worth doing. he's just twiddling with his labret piercing.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Am I-- What do you mean what is it?
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after a second, he just nudges the door open all the way with his foot. ]
...sorry. Bit of a migraine coming on. [ but molly can come in if he wants, as he steps back to let him do so. ]
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oh well! coming on in, though not with the same "owning the place" energy he normally does.]
You ran away so quickly before, didn't really get the chance to talk. [Uh,] Oh. Ah. Do you want to lay down again?
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he does wander over to the mini fridge for a moment, but it's to fetch out a bottle of booze. ]
But no, no. I'm alright, it's not bad. Shi Qingxuan brought me a bottle of baiju, and I'm quite good at self medicating. [ gu yun gives the bottle a wiggle. ]
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[looking at the bottle, though, then quirking an eyebrow.]
I thought it was self-poisoning that was on your profile. Come on, you should lay down.
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Right. You know me. Not much of a sweet tooth. The saccharine and I don't mesh. Besides, the migraine was coming on.
[ eventually he sighs and screws the cap back on. might as well bring it with. ]
...Fine, fine. I suppose I could take a nap. [ this is so
weird. everything about it is terrible. he has zero idea what to do with it, either, besides hide it and pretend like nothing is different and the world is not upside down. no gay drama here. ]
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[reaching over to tuck some of his hair behind an ear? he knows that gy loves to be a sass. this week sure is probably hard for him because of that and that alone! pushing him to move towards the loft then.]
Feel a bit bad celebrating it but it is nice you've got the room to yourself isn't it?
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he's feeling the urge to down this entire bottle for the second time today, but that's fine. the nudge is the escape route, and he turns, going for the stairs to make his way up. ]
Sure, sure. Reminds me of home. [ it's got that same sort of cavernous feel as the marquis' mansion does. big, empty, the bare bones of a home not lived in despite two generations of gus calling it home.
as he gets up the stairs there's a moment where gu yun stops, right at the top - and then takes a bigger step, over towards the coffee table, swiping something off of it with a rustling noise and heading over to the closet. if molly's really quick in looking, he might catch a flash of yellow or purple before its being swept off into the closet and the door's shut.
he's using that quick motion to go drop onto the bed, though. yes. all very planned. ]
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maybe it's just the migraine, then. molly just goes to drag his coat off and lay it over the back of a chair, carefully.]
Feels like I've something in my teeth all day, you know. People are looking at me like there's something fucked up and just won't spit it out.
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gu yun's.
quiet for a moment.
looking at the coat, at molly standing in his room. how normal everything is and how completely normal it isn't.
and you know what. ]
Come here. [ he says, and sets either of his hands on his knees where he's sitting, palm up. ]
Do you trust me? [ it. he knows the answer to this question already (he thinks???) but. it doesn't sound like he thinks molly doesn't, at least. ]
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Of course I do, Zixi. [...] Though that's the exact thing someone always says before they immediately start causing chaos.
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... So if I tell you something seriously, even if you don't want to hear it, then you'll trust the fact that what I'm saying is true, and I'm not just blowing smoke up either of our asses. Right?
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If you're-- If you're jealous of White or Envy or anything else like that, you don't have to be. I love White, and that's . . . uncomplicated. I don't know why, but it makes sense, he's - I feel good around him. But he's got other things going on too, and I don't care about that. Envy is sweet and I like him but - you're
[the whole bakery?]
I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. You're my friend. I'm doing the thing where I run my fecking mouth again, just--
[he's going that purplier color and his tail flicks back and forth rapidly now, because part of this feels wrong and part of it feels right and he isn't sure he should be saying any of it.]
I'll shut up. I'm shutting up.
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[ as he's finishing saying "i'm shutting up" gu yun lets go of his hands, then grabs molly's stupid face with his cold fingers and kisses him.
it's just once, but it lingers, maybe a little graceless, maybe a little long, close mouthed, but it gets his point across better than any words either of them have completely failed at making in the past few days.
he pulls back. not far, red in the cheeks, flustered, but staring dead on at him because this situation is fucking ridiculous. kind of what-are-you-an-idiot-sandwich-ing him, too, as gu yun just goes and says it. ]
Someone cursed you. It's uncomplicated because it'll wear off. [ there. god. he hopes it'll wear off. ] I'm not - I don't care. [ that's. that sounded more callous than he meant it to, but not enough to kick in any forced kindness so-- that's fine, he's just gonna be the one to keep talking and not shutting up. maybe the universe will sense that he's trying.
the fierce quality to his voice doesn't fade, but it's. a little softer than before, maybe. ] I care that someone's manipulated you for no reason. And. With White too, I guess, you said two days ago it made him angry when you joked about it, but that's -- that isn't the point. Don't really want to talk about him right now. [ alright maybe like. a tiny bit. it's not a lot, though. he'd be less annoyed by it if he could bully white over it. ]
You don't have to believe me, and, when it's over and I can rub it in your face, you can tell me how many times I was right, and I will be keeping track of how many times you do.
I'm not jealous of anything. I don't - that's not the kind of person I am. There's. [ a beat. he pauses, wavering before soldiering on, finally, looking away from him for a half a second and swallowing a lump in his throat of something before returning back to it - ]...I don't think there's a reason to be, because - I said something, and you liked what I said. And that's more...
... it's just more.
Right? [ maybe he's bad at this, and maybe it's all new and most of it makes him want to run screaming a hundred miles in the other direction and then very tentatively come back, but. this is something a little more than that. full bakeries, and the like.
gu yun's not a very jealous person, anyway, and, there's - everything is complicated here, but this is. well. they've complicated parts of this enough on their own. did someone else really have to step in?
belatedly, intense look and all finally fading, he releases his face. ]
...There. I ran my mouth too. [ embarrassing. gu yun's ears are red again. ]
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mollymauk, who is feeling a truly fatal amount of emotions right spanning the entire spectrum of possibilities, shame and fear and relief and . . .
he presses back into the kiss, closemouthed and desperate too, enough until it hurts a bit, because miserably enough they haven't kissed since that funny little moment when they both said they liked it and wanted to do more of it. stupid how these things happen.
there's-- well. he can't really understand the part about being cursed, or, he can, because he has the exact same fucking curse in his back pocket, but surely that's not what's happening to him? that's not possible. it's different. and a smaller, nasty little part of his mind goes, well. you cast your charm on people all the time, and they never realize until it's over either, do they? and then it's crushed right back down.
it's not true and he shouldn't say such fucking vicious things before saying such sweet ones. ]
Right.
[ And he sounds so broken and miserable when he says it, that it must simply be the truth. he's never told a lie without some bit of glee behind his teeth. the truth always asks its price, though, doesn't it? ]
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it's. talking about things like this is like jumping off of a fucking cliff. no gu man has ever dared to show a single ounce of emotion and gu yun is his father's son. talking about feelings makes him feel like he's stripped naked and run down the main streets of great liang for no reason - weird, and embarrassed, and wanting to run away.
so he just. when that miserable tone comes out, he clamps down on himself, locks it away and throws the key. ]
... Guess I complicated it. [ there's a huff, to that, a little humorless, as he drops his hands into his lap. god. he hates this. he's going to find the person who did this and wring their neck. because what he said was true - it's the part about putting molly through this that makes him the most annoyed. it's the part that he knows how hard it is to talk about this sort of thing when it's real, and it's shitty, and he deserves a lot more than being someone's puppet for their amusement, or something worse. ] I'll figure it out.
[ find a way to try and break it, anyway. he's gonna try. there has to be something. ]
... If it makes you feel good, then go with it. Sort of what matters. [ just don't sound that miserable. fuck. ] I'll be here.
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[he can't say anything with the force he wants to. so it's gentle. don't start down that road.]
I liked what you said.
[ hm. well. jumping to the conclusion that it's the love arrow effect is the entire reason he feels completely stripped raw by this! yeah it's definitely entirely that. surely it's not also the . . . - he'd told greed earlier that he doesn't feel guilt, doesn't get it, but oh! how fucking guilty he feels for getting invested in something like this. a dead man, one foot in the grave. a revenant struggling to keep its claws in a body that doesn't quite belong to him anymore. that maybe there's a reason some distance was a smart idea.
neither option feels particularly good right now. so maybe that's why it's enough to swallow all that love and devotion for someone else and put something else next to it for a brief moment.
he knows gu yun has a migraine and he feels pretty shitty at the moment too, but but he'd said if it makes him feel good, to go with it. so he shoves gu yun by the shoulders down onto the bed and kisses him, not very kindly.]
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[ (the truth is, he doesn't have a migraine at all. it's just much easier to lie, than to show for a second that something bothers you deeper than surface level.)
some part of him will always tense up, but the phrase knocks some of it out of him, and gu yun drops, letting molly kiss him. and it's not - sweet, but this is so much easier. it's so much fewer words, and despite being a silver-tongued kind of person, when it comes to something this big, gu yun's a fish trying to walk on land. his hands come back up, again, one at the opening at the front of molly's shirt, the other at the back of his neck, fingers snarling into his hair and holding him there, so he doesn't move away.
this is a conversation in its own right, and some of the frustration from earlier leaks into it. it's not at molly. it's at having his sharpness taken from him, softened into false kindness at moments when he doesn't want it, and how moments where he's trying to do something right still come out sharp. it's at this stupid situation, and how much he despises not knowing things, how much gu yun hates how many actions are so wildly out of his control no matter what. it's frustration at his vision, fading the world into darkness at the corners, like he's constantly viewing everything through cupped hands, and knowing that there's no way to fix it, no dose of miss chen's medicine waiting. everything is in the dark, and soon, that won't just be metaphorical.
so yeah, fuck it! he's not letting molly get away from that kiss, anytime soon. he'll be the one sinking his claws in, and not letting go. ]
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Pull my horns. Bite me. Yank my tail. Do whatever the hell you want, Zixi.
[it's fine. he's got room for more than one person, at least right now. he'd accepted what he was told earlier (white has feelings for someone else, you should stop flaunting it or you'll hurt them) and maybe, he thinks, it's fine if he takes some of the same. just ignores the bit of guilt at the back of his mind. that feeling from that cold hotel room. You want this.]
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and besides, molly's asking. giving permission, really - and not granting what he asks for wouldn't be very kind.
pushing a knee into the side of his hips and squirming out of the top of his robes in the process, he pivots his weight to send them rolling over, throwing a leg over molly's waist instead and bracketing his head with his forearms as he hits the bed. i liked what you said. it's maybe i just like you, and he chomps down on the words before they come anywhere close to his mouth, replacing it with a little kinder truth. ] I don't really have a migraine. I'm just tired of having to play nice against my will.
[ don't you just want to go apeshit? yeah!! sometimes you do a little bit! this is going to be a very long, very terrible week, and throwing "not getting to spend time with molly" on top of everything else, after - after everything that happened last week had put him in a very, very sour mood, more than gu yun was even remotely ready to try and put a name to.
he nips molly's lower lip when he kisses him again, hungry and wanting and taking, a little. maybe it's selfish. maybe it's not. maybe leaving a hickey on him where anyone can see it with his stupid open shirt is selfish, too. it's indulgent, at the very least. ]
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Please don't play nice. Don't play nice then--
[ if it wasn't kindness week, it'd be less begging and more of a demand, but, here they are. he feels greedy and demanding. more. take it, then. kindness is sharing and offering freely too. He's forced to be quiet when he's kissed again, groaning when he's nipped at and louder still when he starts getting that hickey on his chest, right where anyone can see it. ]
I mean it, I mean it, why does no one believe me.
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he's listening, though, while he can. the hands that move down his body catch the length of his massive scar and the little ones underneath it, and by now he's used to molly's hands on him. finding them touching without tickling is maybe the one blessing of this week, right now, but he'll take it for what it is, naturally arching into it as he ducks down and presses another suckling kiss, another, another, leaving his mark on molly among those tattoos and little scars.
it feels like the mantra of this week is really if you have something nice to say, then don't say it at all. some part of him thinks, because it's not true, and another part fights against it, with, because i know how you sound when you mean it. doesn't he? all of their tripping and falling and failing up to this point, leading up to something ridiculous like this.
instead, the compulsion of kindness finds its way to his mouth, as he pulls off for air, leaving a trail of darker purple in his wake. ] I've got you. [ is what comes out, low from his chest, hot with low restlessness and irritation, but with something more than that, too. i've got you, because if molly says he don't play nice, then he won't. he'll take what's being given, selfishly, greedily, and mark up the column of his throat with reckless abandon. his teeth aren't sharp, like a tiefling, but every part of him makes up for it otherwise.
i've got you, like, i hear what you're saying. you aren't crazy - someone was just unbelievably cruel. ]
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he does feel a bit out of his mind, because, well, when he's just been handed some sort of pure, uncomplicated love on a silver platter, he's still here, choosing to do this too. chasing after that sting of pain through the pleasure. that probably makes him sort of fucked up in some way. he cannot really give a single fuck about it anymore at this moment.]
If you're going to impale me, I do have to at least get my boots off.
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it drags him out of what he's doing, all laser focus and busy mouth, forming a hickey right at a line between bare skin and tattoo, and for a moment, it drags him right out of the moment along with it.
because it's -- it just feels normal for a second, and gu yun can't help the laugh that startles out of him, briefly dropping his forehead against molly's shoulder and closing his eyes, his shoulders shaking once with the silent mirth that comes from it. ]
Imagine we just left them. [ this comes a little dryly, tilting his head up to finally make eye contact again, pink cheek lolled against his collar. it doesn't last too long before he's getting up to go do just that.
this is really the most on brand thread we've ever had especially the part where i dont know how to fade to black at all ]
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instead of fade to black ill just say /blows a kiss to the ceiling for pride 🔔🔔 aren't you glad they're the only pride team left now and its just gonna be THIS constantly
anyway, after molly is the one who's just laying there, staring kind of dazed at the ceiling. really feeling that mix of totally amazing and completely shitty that means something was probably a terrible idea but also worth doing. he's just twiddling with his labret piercing.]
. . . Huh. Alright then.
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