Not if something used it against you, that defeats the entire point. [ it's a terrible password!! that's the problem!!!
head still bowed like that, for the moment, it's easier to keep his expression hidden. easier to hide the way something in his chest that's been dislodged for hours squeezes, tight. ]
Usually, it's me on the other end of this sort of thing. [ some sort of horrible, gruesome stabbing or explosion or shooting or. whatever. gu yun's seen a million different people die, in a million different horrible ways, and has experienced injury over injury in his short twenty something years of age. there's very little that shakes him, when it comes to death.
but this shook him. he's coming to realize very quickly how much he hates the concept of molly getting hurt, and it's taking more energy than ever to keep it off of his face. ]
... You scared the hell out of me. [ gu yun says, eventually, quietly, and then, as if quickly steamrolling over the real, genuine emotion he felt there, the real, unmistakable fear he'd felt - ] And your face looks fine, so don't even think about it.
[speaking of things dislodged in chests, from here, close to molly's chest, it's obvious he's still struggling to breathe properly - rasping breaths and a ... crinkling, crunchy sound, almost. it's probably very painful. he just couldn't sit in there anymore, listening to his own thoughts, replaying his own terrible decisions. for now, he's alive. the pain is a reminder of that. he's alive enough to feel it.
he stays pulling gu yun close, feeling the inverse of that emotion from the previous week. how he feels suddenly so apologetic for making him worry.
he thinks of standing at the foot of his own grave, only hours ago, feeling the emotions there. grief and fear and -- you'll be remembered. how it'd felt like a comfort, in that moment, and how it sickens him a little now. he wants to be more than a fond memory. that's the whole point of being here, isn't it? to fight for more than simple rememberance.]
[ last week, it had been him in this position. batting off concern, worry, making lighthearted jokes - i'm fine, i'm fine. this is the first time gu yun is really understanding what people might go through when he's injured, because he's feeling it right now. it feels like his stomach's tied up in knots, and it's, even now, still trying to get untangled. even knowing he's going to be alright, knowing the healing pod will fix everything - just knowing it happened in the first place is enough to crack his stone and iron exterior.
up close to molly, he can hear that horrible crunching noise, and from plenty of experience with horrific injuries, gu yun recognizes it. he huffs, softly, forehead still pressed to his knuckles. ]
At least you knew what you were apologizing for. [ there's a quiet wryness to that, poking at himself from the week before. god, he's a fucking idiot, isn't he? after a long moment, gu yun lifts his head a bit, cheek pressed to his knuckles, just looking. at his busted nose, at his other injuries, just taking stock while he tries to find the right words to say, making a grab for them and failing, again, again. there's something there, but gu yun can't - he can't find it, not yet, and maybe he won't be able to.
after a moment's pause, gu yun reaches with his other hand for the back of molly's shoulder, finding an undamaged part the best he can to try and lower him back down, supporting his weight with his recently repaired hand. ] You won't do yourself any favors if you keep sitting up. Come on.
[ ...but, as he's helping him lay back, slowly and carefully, almost fussy, gu yun follows after him. he has to lean over, and tip his head to avoid his broken nose, but, he closes the distance between them to press a kiss to molly's mouth. it's not as aggressive, not so pushed by adrenaline like theirs had been the week before. this kiss is firm, but it's sweeter - maybe an apology of its own, for the actions of some other version of himself, or for being an idiot, or for the inability to find the words that he wants to say, for once in his stupid life. ]
[smiling at him bit crookedly when he's looked at, not caring so much about what his face looks like in this moment. dried blood and bruising and all. He seems a bit lost for words himself for now, even when he always seems to talk his way around any other problem.]
Come off it, Zixi, I'm sick of--
[And then he's being pushed. He definitely complains when he's laid back - hasn't he had enough of laying on his back? Lying on a snowy road in the middle of nowhere, or in a cold room, stuck in some hell of their own creation. But he's stiff and cold and not really up for struggling all that much against it beyond lashing his tail a bit, and any argument at all is dropped when he's kissed. he wouldn't care if he'd been smashed again in the nose right now. winding his hands (cold) into the front of gu yun's robe to keep him pulled close for a few seconds longer.]
[ cold. very cold! this is what it feels like when people touch him, probably. he can feel the chill of molly's fingers through his silks, but it's not enough to jar him out of the thoughts bumbling around in his head at a hundred miles an hour. the kiss lingers, and gu yun doesn't really care that molly's fingers are cold, or that he smells a little bloody up this close, or that that tail of his was going a minute ago. he cares that he's alive.
for just a second longer, his mouth moves against molly's, a quiet sort of fierceness to it, before he pulls back. not far - muttering, ] Let go for a second.
[ it might seem like he's running away, but it's actually sort of the opposite. gu yun's not a very big guy. despite all of his muscle from years of battlefield experience, he's slender, ever looking more like a young scholar than the hardened commander of the great liangese army, and if he can manage to convince molly's hands free of his silks for long enough, he's going to take advantage of his size, pulling a knee up onto this tiny little bed to join him.
there's probably not enough space for them both even still, at least not without exacerbating molly's injuries any worse. but, if he can make the space to sit behind him, gu yun will, to pull his stupid head into his lap, horns and all. turns out that having someone you care about - really care about, to the point that you are realizing how much you care about them - get injured can make you pretty fussy!
[he should probably get some mouthwash yeah. he did barf up blood all over someone not that long ago.
he'll let go when asked and shift around enough so he can sit wherever he likes - injuries are nothing. he bleeds himself for almost every spell he casts, he isn't unused to pain. it's as much a part of life as anything else. better to be out here and talking to people than feeling that coldness of the grave in his hands more, by himself.
molly himself isn't that big either, once you've removed the coat and the loudness for half a minute. and he's certainly bendy even with injuries, so he just accommodates as best as he can manage - eagerly putting his stupid head on gu yun's lap and settling right in to be cuddled. fuss away.]
[ unfortunate, that he doesn't even care that much. sometimes you're just used to tasting blood, it's fine.
this is... better, yeah. it's a lot better. gu yun is quietly attentive to the angle his head is at, making sure he can get decently comfortable with those horns, careful not to dislodge any of his injuries too much. he's reckless with his own body, but gentle with others, and pretty much the moment molly's all settled, his fingers come to run through those dark curls. the angry little monster making his heart beat way too quickly seems soothed, for now, leaving in its space something warm and unfamiliar that's started to make its home.
he leans over to look at him like this, dark hair a curtain on either side of molly's head, blocking out the light in the room for a moment longer, briefly pausing in stroking through his hair to gently press his fingertips to his jaw, his cheeks. it's intimate, really, the world narrowed down to just the two of them, after all the chaos from before. a perfect time to say things, were someone competent enough to do so. ]
...Spoiled. [ gu yun mutters, eventually, and gently pinches a cheek before returning to carding through his hair. like he is not the one who A) suggested this and B) is continuing to enable it. or even, C) isn't going to stop it anytime soon. alas. ]
[laying on his back isn't much of an issue - or at least one he's not used to - and his injuries are now mostly internal, hiding behind that wall of scars and tattoos. The bruises he has left are mostly on his face, around the wound on his chest. None of the marks and reminders of the week left on his body. shame to have replaced a good time with such a bad one.
he's rarely been so intimate with anyone in this way. Quiet and connected, nothing but the tenuous thread of wanting to be close to someone. only really yasha, and that's a very different thing from this. most of his connections are quick and fast and indulgent, fireworks popping in a night sky. this is something else. he can feel it gnawing in him, willing to eat him alive if he lets it. he'd like to keep pretending, for just a while more, that what this is isn't abjectly terrifying.
he's closed his eyes when the hair petting and jaw touching starts, humming out (a little crackling noise) and relaxing into it. though he cracks a red eye open again and sticks his tongue out at him at that. spoiled brat indeed.]
[ (molly voice) thats where my blood's supposed to be
following the familiar pattern of molly's curls is beginning to become second nature. looking down at him like this, watching him stick his tongue out, gu yun feels a wash of something between faint, playful annoyance and a terrible, terrible fondness, as he gently tugs one of those curls. ]
Will you? This Zixi's will is iron, you know. [ it
it really isn't. actually, gu yun is just horrifically bad at dealing with people being hurt and/or upset in his general radius, especially if it's someone he cares about, and will likely do anything to make it better. a simple "it hurts" will end up getting molly all the spoiling he wants, unfortunately. the big bad marquis of order, and his squishy human heart underneath.
the petting motion doesn't stop, though. just like molly had done for him, when he'd seen him in a state after his medicine kicked in; soothing, comforting, gentle. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[cold hands on cold hands. He leans over though to kiss the top of gu yun's head. he'll risk the twinge of pain from it.]
I don't know, it's a pretty good password.
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head still bowed like that, for the moment, it's easier to keep his expression hidden. easier to hide the way something in his chest that's been dislodged for hours squeezes, tight. ]
Usually, it's me on the other end of this sort of thing. [ some sort of horrible, gruesome stabbing or explosion or shooting or. whatever. gu yun's seen a million different people die, in a million different horrible ways, and has experienced injury over injury in his short twenty something years of age. there's very little that shakes him, when it comes to death.
but this shook him. he's coming to realize very quickly how much he hates the concept of molly getting hurt, and it's taking more energy than ever to keep it off of his face. ]
... You scared the hell out of me. [ gu yun says, eventually, quietly, and then, as if quickly steamrolling over the real, genuine emotion he felt there, the real, unmistakable fear he'd felt - ] And your face looks fine, so don't even think about it.
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he stays pulling gu yun close, feeling the inverse of that emotion from the previous week. how he feels suddenly so apologetic for making him worry.
he thinks of standing at the foot of his own grave, only hours ago, feeling the emotions there. grief and fear and -- you'll be remembered. how it'd felt like a comfort, in that moment, and how it sickens him a little now. he wants to be more than a fond memory. that's the whole point of being here, isn't it? to fight for more than simple rememberance.]
I'm sorry.
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up close to molly, he can hear that horrible crunching noise, and from plenty of experience with horrific injuries, gu yun recognizes it. he huffs, softly, forehead still pressed to his knuckles. ]
At least you knew what you were apologizing for. [ there's a quiet wryness to that, poking at himself from the week before. god, he's a fucking idiot, isn't he? after a long moment, gu yun lifts his head a bit, cheek pressed to his knuckles, just looking. at his busted nose, at his other injuries, just taking stock while he tries to find the right words to say, making a grab for them and failing, again, again. there's something there, but gu yun can't - he can't find it, not yet, and maybe he won't be able to.
after a moment's pause, gu yun reaches with his other hand for the back of molly's shoulder, finding an undamaged part the best he can to try and lower him back down, supporting his weight with his recently repaired hand. ] You won't do yourself any favors if you keep sitting up. Come on.
[ ...but, as he's helping him lay back, slowly and carefully, almost fussy, gu yun follows after him. he has to lean over, and tip his head to avoid his broken nose, but, he closes the distance between them to press a kiss to molly's mouth. it's not as aggressive, not so pushed by adrenaline like theirs had been the week before. this kiss is firm, but it's sweeter - maybe an apology of its own, for the actions of some other version of himself, or for being an idiot, or for the inability to find the words that he wants to say, for once in his stupid life. ]
no subject
Come off it, Zixi, I'm sick of--
[And then he's being pushed. He definitely complains when he's laid back - hasn't he had enough of laying on his back? Lying on a snowy road in the middle of nowhere, or in a cold room, stuck in some hell of their own creation. But he's stiff and cold and not really up for struggling all that much against it beyond lashing his tail a bit, and any argument at all is dropped when he's kissed. he wouldn't care if he'd been smashed again in the nose right now. winding his hands (cold) into the front of gu yun's robe to keep him pulled close for a few seconds longer.]
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for just a second longer, his mouth moves against molly's, a quiet sort of fierceness to it, before he pulls back. not far - muttering, ] Let go for a second.
[ it might seem like he's running away, but it's actually sort of the opposite. gu yun's not a very big guy. despite all of his muscle from years of battlefield experience, he's slender, ever looking more like a young scholar than the hardened commander of the great liangese army, and if he can manage to convince molly's hands free of his silks for long enough, he's going to take advantage of his size, pulling a knee up onto this tiny little bed to join him.
there's probably not enough space for them both even still, at least not without exacerbating molly's injuries any worse. but, if he can make the space to sit behind him, gu yun will, to pull his stupid head into his lap, horns and all. turns out that having someone you care about - really care about, to the point that you are realizing how much you care about them - get injured can make you pretty fussy!
there. compromise. ]
no subject
he'll let go when asked and shift around enough so he can sit wherever he likes - injuries are nothing. he bleeds himself for almost every spell he casts, he isn't unused to pain. it's as much a part of life as anything else. better to be out here and talking to people than feeling that coldness of the grave in his hands more, by himself.
molly himself isn't that big either, once you've removed the coat and the loudness for half a minute. and he's certainly bendy even with injuries, so he just accommodates as best as he can manage - eagerly putting his stupid head on gu yun's lap and settling right in to be cuddled. fuss away.]
S'better.
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this is... better, yeah. it's a lot better. gu yun is quietly attentive to the angle his head is at, making sure he can get decently comfortable with those horns, careful not to dislodge any of his injuries too much. he's reckless with his own body, but gentle with others, and pretty much the moment molly's all settled, his fingers come to run through those dark curls. the angry little monster making his heart beat way too quickly seems soothed, for now, leaving in its space something warm and unfamiliar that's started to make its home.
he leans over to look at him like this, dark hair a curtain on either side of molly's head, blocking out the light in the room for a moment longer, briefly pausing in stroking through his hair to gently press his fingertips to his jaw, his cheeks. it's intimate, really, the world narrowed down to just the two of them, after all the chaos from before. a perfect time to say things, were someone competent enough to do so. ]
...Spoiled. [ gu yun mutters, eventually, and gently pinches a cheek before returning to carding through his hair. like he is not the one who A) suggested this and B) is continuing to enable it. or even, C) isn't going to stop it anytime soon. alas. ]
no subject
he's rarely been so intimate with anyone in this way. Quiet and connected, nothing but the tenuous thread of wanting to be close to someone. only really yasha, and that's a very different thing from this. most of his connections are quick and fast and indulgent, fireworks popping in a night sky. this is something else. he can feel it gnawing in him, willing to eat him alive if he lets it. he'd like to keep pretending, for just a while more, that what this is isn't abjectly terrifying.
he's closed his eyes when the hair petting and jaw touching starts, humming out (a little crackling noise) and relaxing into it. though he cracks a red eye open again and sticks his tongue out at him at that. spoiled brat indeed.]
I'll only get worse from here.
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following the familiar pattern of molly's curls is beginning to become second nature. looking down at him like this, watching him stick his tongue out, gu yun feels a wash of something between faint, playful annoyance and a terrible, terrible fondness, as he gently tugs one of those curls. ]
Will you? This Zixi's will is iron, you know. [ it
it really isn't. actually, gu yun is just horrifically bad at dealing with people being hurt and/or upset in his general radius, especially if it's someone he cares about, and will likely do anything to make it better. a simple "it hurts" will end up getting molly all the spoiling he wants, unfortunately. the big bad marquis of order, and his squishy human heart underneath.
the petting motion doesn't stop, though. just like molly had done for him, when he'd seen him in a state after his medicine kicked in; soothing, comforting, gentle. ]