anyway. gu yun watches him for a moment, the change in his expression. curiosity's piqued, again. ]
...Are those mutually exclusive? [ unless he's getting his like, tongue pierced, he thinks probably not. what does he know about getting pierced, he wouldn't yell if he got stabbed with an arrow, let alone poked with a needle, so. sounds like they could probably do both.
a beat. ] I'd like, if you would. [ he is dying to know. ]
[he knows gu yun is dying to know that's part of the problem. the anticipation!! like putting off an essay until you have four minutes left to write it.
molly rolls over onto his back, hands twining together on his stomach and just. staring at the ceiling for a minute.]
Alright.
[He. does not know how to start this conversation.]
... So the story about being raised by halfings was a load of shit.
he ends up scooting over further, and just kind of. props his cheek against his shoulder, turning his gaze away from molly and closing his eyes. he's listening as intently as humanly possible, actually, but like, trying to play it cool. ]
Mmn. [ now that he knows molly a little more, that's not so surprising. ] Well, I couldn't have called you on it.
[can't call him on it if he doesn't know better! Whatever, it's fine. We're in the shit now.]
How to put this. Just rip the arrow out I suppose. Two years ago, I crawled out of a grave near Shady Creek Run. I didn't-- I don't remember that much of those days. Sort of a haze. According to the others at the carnival, they found me in a bit of a state. No memories, head shaved, very few words. Or. One word, to be precise.
[ "head shaved" is like the weirdest part of this entire sentence, actually. he already sort of knew some of the context, from sharing a memory with him about it, last week, so. gu yun's quiet for a second, processing the mental image. ]
...'Empty', yeah? [ what a mental image that is. and... really, how lucky the carnival was the one to come upon him, it seems. ]
[Molly is still just looking at the ceiling mostly.]
So they took me in, taught me how to speak again, how to read the cards, how to get a little silver and give a little silver, and I got a bunch of wonderful tattoos to cover the-- [He waves a hand, flexing the fingers so the back of it moves. the eye.] I found out my blood could do strange things. That sometimes I feel a strange familiarity with certain words, things, places.
But I don't remember anything from before that grave. Nor do I want to.
[ that makes sense - why that first memory had been so confusing, for the both of them. gu yun watches the red eye as it comes in and out of his vision, and conflates naturally with the eerie memory, one that stuck with him long after the share was over.
eventually, he props his elbow up straight, and lifts his hand, leaving it propped up between them in the path of molly's. fingers partially open, an unspoken invitation. ]
No wonder you were so jarred, when that cat woman came by. [ "tabaxi" leave him alone hes trying. now that he thinks about it... ] Back when we were playing that game with Yuri, you'd mentioned something about the blood, didn't you?
Right. If a talking cat tabaxi named Cree came up to me and started talking to me about my life like we were best friends, I would've reacted far differently than you did, so.
[ there we go. this time, at least he can hold it back, lacing their fingers together with lazy ease. it's a little strange how normal this is becoming, but. you know. not thinking about it. ]
Mm... I was getting drunk by then. Something about a cult? And a god.
A certain degree of reverence she had, wasn't it? Strange. Freaked me right out.
[he twists to lay more on his side then, less of the staring right at the ceiling.]
Oh, that. No, also total bullshit. Stole that from a dragon-blooded sorceress we met once. My blood just does things. Ah-- turns to ice. Makes things glow and able to hit ghosts. Can use it to invoke curses to blind things and such. So I woke up with [gestures to his chest] Most of these, when I crawled out of the first grave. Seems it was an art Lucien had mastered.
Believe it or not, that's the most 'normal' thing you've said to me so far. [ with a snort. normal by his magicless definition, anyway. he taps his fingertips against the back of molly's hand, briefly. ] Supposedly, the Heavenly tribes do all sorts of things with the blood of their Goddess.
[ speaking of cults, anyway. gu yun's own opinion of the heavenly tribes and their cult is extremely low - sometimes, it reminds him of chang geng's odd question, if people could be cursed to go insane. it wasn't anything he really considered, until he came to a place like this.
... he doesn't bring that up beyond what he's already said, though, lolling his head to look over at his chest. ] If it makes you feel any better, mine's utterly poisonous. [ so there's that
anyway ] Well. Taking advantage of the skills that 'Lucien' practiced doesn't make you Lucien. Right?
[You can definitely be cursed to go insane! It's a fairly common one. But it wasn't the question that was asked. He just makes An Expression at the comment on Lucien's skills, though it's difficult to read. Maybe just thinking it over some.]
Some of it. It's my body, so I'll do with it what I like, but-- [This isn't something he's ever really faced at all before. it's only here, the pushing and pushing to maybe be brave enough to look at it, that's made him roll some things over in his head.] There are things he did, roads he walked, that I have no desire to tread myself. It ended with him cold in a grave. He is a dead man, and I intend to keep it that way.
its an unconscious motion, maybe, but his hand squeezes in molly's. ]
Good. [ agreed, first of all. gu yun's not really one to mince his words in much of anything, not one to tiptoe - this has been sort of a new exercise in being patient, and in holding off on the things he wants to ask, wants to know. it's hard to be completely out of his depth, too, with no useful solutions to offer for a situation he doesn't understand. ] Are there ways to separate yourself from those things?
[ it just keeps coming back to those red, red eyes. ]
[mollymauk has always been reluctant to look. it doesn't matter. the past, the things buried there, until they do. I only wonder if you've considered whether you'll have to do something about this whether you prefer to or not.]
No idea. Never thought about it. They had use to me, and never bothered me much.
[That's a lie. He'd tried so often to tattoo over them, to hide them in bright colors and patterns and view them only as some strange utility. like a spell focus, or simply a quirk of his skin, but. he knows it's not true.]
... The, ah, bit I haven't spoken of to anyone is that Beauregard told me that. [Well.] Lucien had come back to haunt them.
...I see. [ there it is, again, an unconscious squeeze of the hand held in his.
there's a moment of quiet before gu yun speaks again. ]
...Well. Fuck that, then. [ yeah. fuck it. maybe not the most helpful or emotional response, but, it kind of is. this is gu yun, defier of fate, defier of curses. believer in nothing but the willpower of himself, and of others, especially when this bizarre, terrible, indulgent world has gifted a second chance. ] You're the one here now.
When you're out of here [ and not if, but when, when you're out of here, because gu yun refuses any other option ], you can tell him and all of his ancestors to go fuck themselves, while you're at it.
[Feels like a very helpful and emotional response to Molly? Who fully agrees with the "fuck that" sentiment. pulling gu yun's hand over to kiss the knuckles, laughing a bit instead of having to do anything else with all of those feelings.]
All of his ancestors too? Seems a bit greedy, doesn't it?
At least eighteen generations back, and nothing less. I prefer to aim high.
[ glad they're both like this! it's a lot easier to lean into the lighthearted, than to think about how much that bothers him, thinking about someone like molly, in a cold grave, because of the designs of someone that came before him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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anyway. gu yun watches him for a moment, the change in his expression. curiosity's piqued, again. ]
...Are those mutually exclusive? [ unless he's getting his like, tongue pierced, he thinks probably not. what does he know about getting pierced, he wouldn't yell if he got stabbed with an arrow, let alone poked with a needle, so. sounds like they could probably do both.
a beat. ] I'd like, if you would. [ he is dying to know. ]
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molly rolls over onto his back, hands twining together on his stomach and just. staring at the ceiling for a minute.]
Alright.
[He. does not know how to start this conversation.]
... So the story about being raised by halfings was a load of shit.
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he ends up scooting over further, and just kind of. props his cheek against his shoulder, turning his gaze away from molly and closing his eyes. he's listening as intently as humanly possible, actually, but like, trying to play it cool. ]
Mmn. [ now that he knows molly a little more, that's not so surprising. ] Well, I couldn't have called you on it.
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[can't call him on it if he doesn't know better! Whatever, it's fine. We're in the shit now.]
How to put this. Just rip the arrow out I suppose. Two years ago, I crawled out of a grave near Shady Creek Run. I didn't-- I don't remember that much of those days. Sort of a haze. According to the others at the carnival, they found me in a bit of a state. No memories, head shaved, very few words. Or. One word, to be precise.
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...'Empty', yeah? [ what a mental image that is. and... really, how lucky the carnival was the one to come upon him, it seems. ]
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[Molly is still just looking at the ceiling mostly.]
So they took me in, taught me how to speak again, how to read the cards, how to get a little silver and give a little silver, and I got a bunch of wonderful tattoos to cover the-- [He waves a hand, flexing the fingers so the back of it moves. the eye.] I found out my blood could do strange things. That sometimes I feel a strange familiarity with certain words, things, places.
But I don't remember anything from before that grave. Nor do I want to.
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eventually, he props his elbow up straight, and lifts his hand, leaving it propped up between them in the path of molly's. fingers partially open, an unspoken invitation. ]
No wonder you were so jarred, when that cat woman came by. [ "tabaxi" leave him alone hes trying. now that he thinks about it... ] Back when we were playing that game with Yuri, you'd mentioned something about the blood, didn't you?
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[He does take the hand offered though, at this point. Relaxing a little tiny bit when he's able to start joking about it some.]
I-- I told a lot of lies then. What did I say, exactly? You'll have to remind me.
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[ there we go. this time, at least he can hold it back, lacing their fingers together with lazy ease. it's a little strange how normal this is becoming, but. you know. not thinking about it. ]
Mm... I was getting drunk by then. Something about a cult? And a god.
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[he twists to lay more on his side then, less of the staring right at the ceiling.]
Oh, that. No, also total bullshit. Stole that from a dragon-blooded sorceress we met once. My blood just does things. Ah-- turns to ice. Makes things glow and able to hit ghosts. Can use it to invoke curses to blind things and such. So I woke up with [gestures to his chest] Most of these, when I crawled out of the first grave. Seems it was an art Lucien had mastered.
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[ speaking of cults, anyway. gu yun's own opinion of the heavenly tribes and their cult is extremely low - sometimes, it reminds him of chang geng's odd question, if people could be cursed to go insane. it wasn't anything he really considered, until he came to a place like this.
... he doesn't bring that up beyond what he's already said, though, lolling his head to look over at his chest. ] If it makes you feel any better, mine's utterly poisonous. [ so there's that
anyway ] Well. Taking advantage of the skills that 'Lucien' practiced doesn't make you Lucien. Right?
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[You can definitely be cursed to go insane! It's a fairly common one. But it wasn't the question that was asked. He just makes An Expression at the comment on Lucien's skills, though it's difficult to read. Maybe just thinking it over some.]
Some of it. It's my body, so I'll do with it what I like, but-- [This isn't something he's ever really faced at all before. it's only here, the pushing and pushing to maybe be brave enough to look at it, that's made him roll some things over in his head.] There are things he did, roads he walked, that I have no desire to tread myself. It ended with him cold in a grave. He is a dead man, and I intend to keep it that way.
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its an unconscious motion, maybe, but his hand squeezes in molly's. ]
Good. [ agreed, first of all. gu yun's not really one to mince his words in much of anything, not one to tiptoe - this has been sort of a new exercise in being patient, and in holding off on the things he wants to ask, wants to know. it's hard to be completely out of his depth, too, with no useful solutions to offer for a situation he doesn't understand. ] Are there ways to separate yourself from those things?
[ it just keeps coming back to those red, red eyes. ]
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No idea. Never thought about it. They had use to me, and never bothered me much.
[That's a lie. He'd tried so often to tattoo over them, to hide them in bright colors and patterns and view them only as some strange utility. like a spell focus, or simply a quirk of his skin, but. he knows it's not true.]
... The, ah, bit I haven't spoken of to anyone is that Beauregard told me that. [Well.] Lucien had come back to haunt them.
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After you...?
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[He.
hadn't been brave enough to ask many questions.]
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there's a moment of quiet before gu yun speaks again. ]
...Well. Fuck that, then. [ yeah. fuck it. maybe not the most helpful or emotional response, but, it kind of is. this is gu yun, defier of fate, defier of curses. believer in nothing but the willpower of himself, and of others, especially when this bizarre, terrible, indulgent world has gifted a second chance. ] You're the one here now.
When you're out of here [ and not if, but when, when you're out of here, because gu yun refuses any other option ], you can tell him and all of his ancestors to go fuck themselves, while you're at it.
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All of his ancestors too? Seems a bit greedy, doesn't it?
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[ glad they're both like this! it's a lot easier to lean into the lighthearted, than to think about how much that bothers him, thinking about someone like molly, in a cold grave, because of the designs of someone that came before him. ]
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[the real bad boys of his ancestry.]
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[ gu yun who had never met a being doing magic in his entire life until this place is, as usual, full of confidence ]