...I don't want to lie about the kind of person I am.
[And - well, the lack of guilt or urge to apologize is tied into that, at least in her opinion. But she isn’t trying to disagree with him for the sake of it, so she moves on quickly.]
I think it’s fair to say I had more of a hand in it than anyone, other than whoever framed her. I wouldn’t be upset if you thought that, too. [Especially him, honestly.] But if you’re not angry, then...
I don't know. Maybe? But I don't want to sit here and try and add up your sins to figure out how angry I should be at you compared to anyone else. Like I'm weighing meat at the market.
[It's not . . . not the kind of person he wants to be. There's a dark road there. Weights and measures of the heart.]
I won't say I'm not angry at all, that would be a lie. But I don't want to be angry with you.
[Most people have been far more understanding than she thought they would be, but him in particular saying that - it's different than she expected. She's not sure how to take it, and it shows in her expression, in the way she falls silent for a few moments.]
...It's a shame I wasn't fighting the person who actually did this. I would have liked that much more.
[But, more to the point:]
If you didn't come to ask me not to talk to you anymore, then... Did you just want to make sure I knew you aren't angry at me?
...It’ll be harder now that we all have our guards up. Anyone they tried to attack wouldn’t be as caught off guard.
[She sighs.]
But I won’t deny that they’ll probably try again. I wonder if there’s some kind of plan we can make, but if all the doors are going to lock like that again...
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If I told you I was sorry for it, it would be a lie. Not that I really wanted her to be put in that situation, but...
[She sighs.]
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Sometimes it's alright to tell a bit of a lie, you know.
[But.]
You didn't kill her. Or at least, you had as much of a hand as any of the rest of us.
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[And - well, the lack of guilt or urge to apologize is tied into that, at least in her opinion. But she isn’t trying to disagree with him for the sake of it, so she moves on quickly.]
I think it’s fair to say I had more of a hand in it than anyone, other than whoever framed her. I wouldn’t be upset if you thought that, too. [Especially him, honestly.] But if you’re not angry, then...
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[It's not . . . not the kind of person he wants to be. There's a dark road there. Weights and measures of the heart.]
I won't say I'm not angry at all, that would be a lie. But I don't want to be angry with you.
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...It's a shame I wasn't fighting the person who actually did this. I would have liked that much more.
[But, more to the point:]
If you didn't come to ask me not to talk to you anymore, then... Did you just want to make sure I knew you aren't angry at me?
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[Honestly it's a good question. He half shrugs, but crosses his arms over his chest in the end. Two half gestures.]
Yes. I suppose so. Or that I'm ready to not be angry at you any more.
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You're much calmer than I would have been in the same position.
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[He just feels.
Well.
Empty.]
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Probably something violent, but I guess I shouldn't recommend that.
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[Just the person who did that to Beau.]
I don't-- When I find them, they're going to pay.
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I think we'd all agree that you're first in line when we do.
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Get the feeling that if they did it once, they might try and do it again. It seemed easy enough for them the first time.
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[She sighs.]
But I won’t deny that they’ll probably try again. I wonder if there’s some kind of plan we can make, but if all the doors are going to lock like that again...
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[also, sighs,]
I suppose maybe do your best to find some weaponry.