[ he'll spend a minute or so thinking over all of that, leaning against the railing and letting his thumbs twiddle. ]
... I spend a lot of my time trying to keep to some sort of life philosophy, you know? I always want to leave a place better than I found it. Try and keep the balance, make the world slightly less shit in my wake. If I can. So I don't like feeling anger or despair or whatever else, because I suppose to me, it's giving up that part of me that can see something better.
But I don't know that there are right or wrong ways to feel. Sometimes you just feel things. You just have to try and figure out what feels the least terrible.
[ he's quiet at that, remembering camp. quietly, ]
...You are a good person, Mollymauk.
[ better than he is, anyway. ]
Anger and despair can be poisonous, but they are... easiest. Even if it is natural to me, I wish I felt them less. And these wretched 'games' fester the darkest emotions. [ it's going to kill sheila tomorrow. ] Can such a place be made better?
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... I spend a lot of my time trying to keep to some sort of life philosophy, you know? I always want to leave a place better than I found it. Try and keep the balance, make the world slightly less shit in my wake. If I can. So I don't like feeling anger or despair or whatever else, because I suppose to me, it's giving up that part of me that can see something better.
But I don't know that there are right or wrong ways to feel. Sometimes you just feel things. You just have to try and figure out what feels the least terrible.
no subject
...You are a good person, Mollymauk.
[ better than he is, anyway. ]
Anger and despair can be poisonous, but they are... easiest. Even if it is natural to me, I wish I felt them less. And these wretched 'games' fester the darkest emotions. [ it's going to kill sheila tomorrow. ] Can such a place be made better?
no subject
[ he doesn't seem ashamed or humble about that, about trying, anyway. ]
Well. Let's call it not making it actively worse, yeah?