You have to draw the line somewhere eventually, right? How many dead people am I worth? One? Two? Don't get me wrong, I'm not above gutting someone that needs it - especially if they're trying to kill me. That's different. But I'm not going to start taking weights and measures of their lives against mine. That's a bloody road you can't turn around on.
[She looks completely stricken when he asks how many dead people he's worth - she loses the thread of the conversation entirely for a moment, her thoughts going somewhere else. But she pulls herself back quickly, the only hesitation left the arm wrapped absently, protectively around herself.]
. . . No. It doesn't say you have to. But I suspect some won't wait for the direction to come.
There are people who measure the value of lives differently than you do, after all.
[Trying a smile instead, because he can kind of tell that seemed to hit a nerve. It wasn't really meant as a Judgement.]
That's quite true. And who knows, I could be full of shit right now, or change my mind down the road when the decisions get harder, or decide that I can live with it because there are important people I have to get back to. Things to do. For now, this is all just . . . ah. What's the word? [Hypothetical.]
[She's come back to herself, back to her forceful personality. A little less awkward now, even, when they're discussing this sort of thing rather than making small talk.]
If those are your convictions, you must be resolute in them. No life is worth more than another. But if you cannot hold to that with confidence now, where will you be when you're actually tested?
[ That is, in fact, a deeply powerful thing she's just said, and he appreciates it more than she can probably get from the fairly lighthearted tease he says in response.]
Perhaps I'm still feeling my way around it. I'm a bit in the dark on this one. I suppose it's simple to say you'll always leave a place better than you've found it when it's a matter of cheer and coin, but a little more difficult when the decision could be final curtains.
At least for now it's one more day, and I think I'd like to enjoy it. Do you know how to operate those machines in the kitchens?
If it was important enough to agree, knowing how suspicious the offer was, then all I can do is trust myself and the decision I once made.
[But as she says this, she raises her hand to her temple and stops walking, suddenly a little dizzy and disoriented as a wave of illness washes over her. She takes a moment to collect herself before she speaks again.]
I find it's best not to dwell on it. There are certain things better left uninterrogated.
[Very concerned, suddenly when she does that little move? It’s.
Well it’s not an action he’s totally unfamiliar with himself. Maybe making a wild assumption or two. Coming over immediately, hovering in case she looks any worse.]
Woah there, easy does it. You alright?
[And then when she seems to collect herself, he’ll back off.]
On that, I don’t think we could possibly agree more.
[She flinches awkwardly like he was planning to attack her! What a weirdo. But she will just continue to follow after him like a dumb little goth dork.]
I suppose. I'm not sure anything about this will be clean.
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[He stops and reaches up to lightly pull at one of the charms - a silver moon - that hangs off the tip of his horn. Then drops the hand.]
. . . You've got nothing to worry about from me. I think it'd be rather hypocritical to start killing for what I want.
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[Hmm. She considers him, whether to take him at his word. And she decides, for now - maybe.]
I don't intend to shoulder the burden of any more ghosts than I already do. Though I also do not intend to lose my life here. So there I stand.
. . . Still, I have to think we're meant to at least consider it. Is it prying to ask what you've traded for?
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[also, it's not like a huge secret. He pauses, while he considers how to phrase it.]
For now, let's say there's a body that's mine, and I'd rather like it back.
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. . . You're competing for your life. And yet, you won't consider killing others for it?
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You have to draw the line somewhere eventually, right? How many dead people am I worth? One? Two? Don't get me wrong, I'm not above gutting someone that needs it - especially if they're trying to kill me. That's different. But I'm not going to start taking weights and measures of their lives against mine. That's a bloody road you can't turn around on.
It doesn't say anywhere that you have to.
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. . . No. It doesn't say you have to. But I suspect some won't wait for the direction to come.
There are people who measure the value of lives differently than you do, after all.
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That's quite true. And who knows, I could be full of shit right now, or change my mind down the road when the decisions get harder, or decide that I can live with it because there are important people I have to get back to. Things to do. For now, this is all just . . . ah. What's the word? [Hypothetical.]
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[She's come back to herself, back to her forceful personality. A little less awkward now, even, when they're discussing this sort of thing rather than making small talk.]
If those are your convictions, you must be resolute in them. No life is worth more than another. But if you cannot hold to that with confidence now, where will you be when you're actually tested?
no subject
[ That is, in fact, a deeply powerful thing she's just said, and he appreciates it more than she can probably get from the fairly lighthearted tease he says in response.]
Perhaps I'm still feeling my way around it. I'm a bit in the dark on this one. I suppose it's simple to say you'll always leave a place better than you've found it when it's a matter of cheer and coin, but a little more difficult when the decision could be final curtains.
At least for now it's one more day, and I think I'd like to enjoy it. Do you know how to operate those machines in the kitchens?
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[That's absolutely all, though.]
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Perhaps your wish should be for a larger cooking skill set.
[Heading on out of the room! Waving at her to follow. So demanding.]
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[Following him! She has nothing better to do.]
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[It’s not like he can really cook much either.]
Anyway. I showed you mine. Yours?
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[She frowns, like she's thinking it over.]
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[When she frowns and pauses he doesn’t really react, just keeps walkin’ towards the kitchen.]
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The truth is, I've no idea.
[Hmm.]
I recall agreeing to come here, but what it was I agreed for I couldn't say.
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That could certainly make things complicated.
[Don’t sound so casual about it.]
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[But as she says this, she raises her hand to her temple and stops walking, suddenly a little dizzy and disoriented as a wave of illness washes over her. She takes a moment to collect herself before she speaks again.]
I find it's best not to dwell on it. There are certain things better left uninterrogated.
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Well it’s not an action he’s totally unfamiliar with himself. Maybe making a wild assumption or two. Coming over immediately, hovering in case she looks any worse.]
Woah there, easy does it. You alright?
[And then when she seems to collect herself, he’ll back off.]
On that, I don’t think we could possibly agree more.
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[She doesn't get worse, and she holds out a hand to stop him from coming any closer; after a moment, she's steady again.]
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[ Okay tiny grump. Reaching to pat her on the shoulder quickly before he gets smacked, and then continuing off!!]
At the very least, it could be a clean start. Nothing wrong with that either.
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I suppose. I'm not sure anything about this will be clean.