[he doesn't mean that like. meanly. It's just true. it isn't like he doesn't have his own sad story he just told a bunch of them.]
I don't think anything we don't know. Just that they want to help, were hoping for a different outcome, that sort of thing. The same sort of thing we're hoping for, I'm sure.
Mm. It is a little. . . Pride and Despair were going around on the first day, saying they thought we ought to kill one another. Perhaps others didn't like it, but not in any sense beyond a differing opinion.
[Which is fairly cold comfort.]
I think you ought to be as angry as you want, and ought not to forgive if you don't want. [Or forgive, if he does want? Couldn't be her.] At least in my opinion, there is not a requirement to let bygones be bygones in order to work together for a common good.
Suppose it'd have made it easier for them to make a decision if we just took care of it ourselves. Unfortunately, and despite evidence to the contrary, I actually do think it's most people's inclination not to murder each other for the most part.
[He makes a bit of a face while he considers all of that, putting his chin in his hand tapping his nails (now, a little sharper) on the tabletop, because, well, he doesn't really know where he stands?]
Don't know how I feel about the forgiveness thing or not yet. Ask me next week?
[The Endorsi crack does get a bit of a soft laugh out of him at least? But after a moment.]
I should have known weeks and weeks ago. When I saw that-- cupcake. And her hands, in my memory. I just thought ... it was torturing me with visions of them. Reminding me.
But just as with Beau, I didn't want to believe it, when the obvious was shown to me.
I saw her sketchbook-- she keeps ones. Had the list of names, her opinions on them. Writes to her god in it - a Traveler. Apparently, he wasn't listening, here.
And someone poisoned her. I asked Lust. She says they didn't know who.
[And that Molly likes to say stupid curses in infernal to entertain literally only her. Because shes' the only other one in the group who understands it.]
Don't know why this place is so obsessed with us, as a group.
[whats next is nott gonna be stuffed in the dryer or something]
It is curious. No one familiar to me at all. . . I wish there were. Everyone I'd mind seeing dead is already dead anyway, so it would be a lot less depressing.
[Leave him alone kill Mercymorn instead or something.]
. . . What I find more curious, if you don't mind the speculation, is why you're seeing evidence of her. Does it just want you to know? Or is it a matter of her spirit, leaving impressions behind that you're drawn to?
[stop saying all your friends are dead harrow we be trying to work on that!!]
I'm not sure. [Honestly if it were Jester it might have more of a sense of humor about it, but.] I suppose I found the cupcake first, but Yuri is the one who found her lollipop. But she wasn't on any of the lists before this.
Oh. Well - myself included. I went swimming in it. I saw shades I recognized from home; no one here. But. . . the pool is something very similar to what I know as the River, where the souls of the dead go when they die. However, according to Sloth, it is an illusory approximation of the River, not connected to the real thing. So I'm not sure you'd see anything more real than a dream or a simulation.
[. . .]
With how active things have been recently. . . Hmm. I found it peaceful, personally, when I tried. The only time I have actually been in the actual River, it was rather dreadful. Vengeful spirits take shapes intended to torment you so they can prey on you. What I saw there was something. . . incredibly disturbing to me, and also entirely false. I worry it would be unpleasant now, in a similar way.
. . . I don't remember being dead. There's just nothing. Either time-- I remember being alive, and then I remember dying. There's probably something, but I certainly didn't have any clarity on it.
Well according to Aoi, there's a bakery and your best friends the serial killers and a cursed spirit who murdered you are there, so it's probably quite nice, actually.
[dancing fastly away from this serious conversation about the afterlife now.]
Funny how-- we do all remember the part about him manipulating children? Or are we just agreeing to move past that.
[It was a really nice conversation! Which was the problem. Made him too sad to think about himself being dead again. Made him too sad to think about Harrow being dead and somehow in that river?]
[No, no. She was alive in the river, that's why she was being attacked by the dead. She should have clarified more details of that bummer situation.]
. . . I'm sure. [This conversation is a little harder, in a weird way. It feels like he wants to have it, so she has to, even though. Ugh. The future.] You mention her, a lot. [Not in any substantive way, just. Offhand, a lot.]
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[he doesn't mean that like. meanly. It's just true. it isn't like he doesn't have his own sad story he just told a bunch of them.]
I don't think anything we don't know. Just that they want to help, were hoping for a different outcome, that sort of thing. The same sort of thing we're hoping for, I'm sure.
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[Which is fairly cold comfort.]
I think you ought to be as angry as you want, and ought not to forgive if you don't want. [Or forgive, if he does want? Couldn't be her.] At least in my opinion, there is not a requirement to let bygones be bygones in order to work together for a common good.
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[He makes a bit of a face while he considers all of that, putting his chin in his hand tapping his nails (now, a little sharper) on the tabletop, because, well, he doesn't really know where he stands?]
Don't know how I feel about the forgiveness thing or not yet. Ask me next week?
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[If they're all still alive next week to be able to be mad at each other or not mad at each other, she will consider that a win.
. . . Hm.]
You haven't really mentioned her.
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. . . Who? [And then he looks off.] Jester?
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[A little cautiously more than actually sarcastic. She really isn't sure she should bring it up.
Her instincts would say no? But her instincts are so bad, and he usually does bring it up.]
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I should have known weeks and weeks ago. When I saw that-- cupcake. And her hands, in my memory. I just thought ... it was torturing me with visions of them. Reminding me.
But just as with Beau, I didn't want to believe it, when the obvious was shown to me.
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Torture was not an unreasonable suspicion.
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[Anyway.]
I saw her sketchbook-- she keeps ones. Had the list of names, her opinions on them. Writes to her god in it - a Traveler. Apparently, he wasn't listening, here.
And someone poisoned her. I asked Lust. She says they didn't know who.
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Anyway, she just frowns. Ugh.]
That's awful.
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She's kind, but she isn't-- she could defend herself. Better than most.
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[Harrow says 'I know' but all she knows about Jester is her mom is hot and also she ate a random ass cupcake and died.
Also the cupcake is probably a Snowend reference so I bet the dead did it somehow.]
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Don't know why this place is so obsessed with us, as a group.
[whats next is nott gonna be stuffed in the dryer or something]
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[Leave him alone kill Mercymorn instead or something.]
. . . What I find more curious, if you don't mind the speculation, is why you're seeing evidence of her. Does it just want you to know? Or is it a matter of her spirit, leaving impressions behind that you're drawn to?
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I'm not sure. [Honestly if it were Jester it might have more of a sense of humor about it, but.] I suppose I found the cupcake first, but Yuri is the one who found her lollipop. But she wasn't on any of the lists before this.
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[. . .]
With how active things have been recently. . . Hmm. I found it peaceful, personally, when I tried. The only time I have actually been in the actual River, it was rather dreadful. Vengeful spirits take shapes intended to torment you so they can prey on you. What I saw there was something. . . incredibly disturbing to me, and also entirely false. I worry it would be unpleasant now, in a similar way.
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. . . I don't remember being dead. There's just nothing. Either time-- I remember being alive, and then I remember dying. There's probably something, but I certainly didn't have any clarity on it.
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[What a bummer of a conversation, but she feels at home here.]
. . . It isn't bad there, though, I don't think. It just isn't a place that's safe for the living to go.
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[dancing fastly away from this serious conversation about the afterlife now.]
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Yes, there's that. I really am going to kill Mahito a second time, I think.
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[It was a really nice conversation! Which was the problem. Made him too sad to think about himself being dead again. Made him too sad to think about Harrow being dead and somehow in that river?]
... You'll like Jester. Everyone likes Jester.
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. . . I'm sure. [This conversation is a little harder, in a weird way. It feels like he wants to have it, so she has to, even though. Ugh. The future.] You mention her, a lot. [Not in any substantive way, just. Offhand, a lot.]